Page 84 of Irons

My mother was not brave. That assumption was not because of her addiction, it was based on the fact that I didn’t meet my father until I was six years old. She refused to face her greatest fears, and those fears contributed to her death. She was in an accident, one that caused her a great deal of physical pain. That was not an excuse. She ran from my father, like she was some kind of a martyr for protecting his future. I was a blessing, not a curse and she never realized it. She ran away like a scared little puppy. She chose to face this world alone, without the love and encouragement she could have had from my dad and her family. She made it through her entire pregnancy bearing a great deal of physical pain so I could be born healthy. Then she chose drugs almost as soon as I was born. She gave up, all because she was too weak to face her shame. She was ashamed of her pregnancy, she was too young and unprepared to understand that she had nothing to be ashamed of. My father would have welcomed us both with open arms if she just would have went back to him after the accident. She took on all the burden instead of sharing it with the greatest dad to ever live. No, her drug addiction wasn’t because of that accident. It was because of the unrealistic expectations she placed on herself, and she saw her pregnancy as a failure.

My pregnancy was never a failure. My son was a life that was lost because of an accident. I had to keep telling myself that my loss wasn’t my fault. He didn’t die because of anything I did, or anything biologically wrong with me or him. It was simply an unfortunate accident, and I prayed for the young man who made a bad choice almost every single day since my baby died.

I’m healthy, extremely healthy, and there wasn’t any lasting side effects that damaged my physical ability to get pregnant and sustain a pregnancy. Unlike a lot of unfortunate souls on Creed’s Lake, I wasn’t traumatized by my childhood or my past. My father and Travis helped me heal and move on from my mother’s death years ago. I no longer had all that anger in me, and I forgave her. I count my blessings all the time that my mom did finally face my dad before she died. If she wouldn’t have done that, well, who knows what would have happened to me. I was grateful, but also grateful that I escaped that fucking sandbox with only minimal trauma. I mourned fellow soldiers, that was tough, but their sacrifices saved countless lives, and for that I was also grateful. I was shot twice, but I wear those scars with pride of my bravery and survival. But now after over a decade, I was beginning to feel the same about my C-section scar. Of course, the grief will always be there, but I survived and found Travis again. It was time to admit to myself that I would have been an amazing mom and what happened to my baby was never my fault.

After my shower, and taking a few more pain relievers, I got dressed to face the day. It was Halloween and obviously the perfect day to pull one particular sweater from my ugly sweater collection. I had three holidays covered with the silliest fashion mistakes possible. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween.

I threw on my low riding Army Green cargo pants, a black ribbed and cropped tank top, then of course my ugly scarypumpkin button up sweater that I left open. In my closet, buried under my enormous collection of shoes, I found my Doc Martin’s and threw them on as well. I straightened my long hair and made pigtails that fell over my shoulders, then giggled a little when I imagined Travis’s reaction as I put on my makeup. I called the technique my “kinda witch” look. I started with my smoky black and red smoky eyes. Added some long fake eyelashes, then drew an upside down half moon on my forehead with eye liner then added black stars drawn to make them look like they were falling from it. Then I added tiny black spiders as tears falling from my eyes and my look wouldn’t have been complete without black matted lipstick. So, I was kinda a witch and kinda a goofy former Marine that was completely and totally in love with my childhood best friend, and the former Delta Force badass was now my covert operative boyfriend. Well, we hadn’t put a label on us, but in true Wrenly fashion I’ve simply claimed him as such.

Thankfully, I remembered to start the side by side and let it warm up before I left. The fall weather in Indiana was strange. One day it could be rainy and cold, then the next it was hot and sunny, just to turn around the next day and be windy and cold. Today, it was windy and cold, with leaves flying around everywhere. Indiana wasn’t like I imagined before I visited. I always thought Indiana was flat and all you’d see were cornfields. That might be true in the northern part, but southern Indiana was gorgeous with rolling hills that led to deep valleys where you would almost always find a creek running toward the Ohio River, beautiful trees that made the most gorgeous fall leaves, and all the views were breathtaking. We were close enough to Kentucky that the landscape of that state spilled over north of the river.

I arrived at the K-9 training center a few minutes early. I was so excited about the little one I was about to adopt. I hadn’t had a pet since I left my dad’s house. I had a cat because dad thought it would be low maintenance. He was wrong because that cat was evil, and I swear that fucker collected souls. No, my real pet that I missed the most was my horse. In fact, now that I thought of it, Addie would have loved that evil fur ball with the sharpest claws ever formed on an animal.

As soon as I walked into the building, I saw Sam holding the most adorable baby Belgian Malinois I had ever seen. He had a black mask and black tipped ears, and the rest of his coat was fawn. He was wearing a red collar, and his tiny little head tilted the moment he saw me. Sam also looked adorable holding that puppy with a wide grin on his face.

My heart melted when I saw him, but what caught my attention most was the way he kept looking at me. He would tilt his head at different angles and suddenly I realized he was the most observant animal I ever saw. Was it the makeup I was wearing? I don’t know, but he was the cutest little thing I ever saw in my life.

I reached for him, and he came without any protest, but kept staring at me like I was the craziest thing he ever saw. “Oh my God.” I cood. “He’s the cutest. What’s his name?”

Sam smiled proudly. “We haven’t named him yet.”

“Oh, this is going to be such a hard decision.” I held him out so I could take a good look at him and once again he tilted his head curiously as he also took in a good look at me. He had the most adorable face and cutest little pudgy puppy belly ever. I just wanted to eat him all up and plaster kisses all over his cute little face.

“I have all your supplies ready, and I don’t think you’ll need anything else.” Sam said.

“I have more supplies at home that I ordered.” I finally gave in and kissed his little nose then held him closer. “Thanks, Sam.”

Sam had a sly grin on his face. “How does the old man feel about this?” He asked.

“He knows that I was going to foster, but I haven’t broken the news that I actually bought him. It’s not like he will be Travis’s responsibility, and we don’t even live together.” Yeah, this little guy came with a hefty price tag. The ten thousand dollar price tag included all his supplies, full training, boarding and food when I left town and couldn’t take him, grooming services, and one year of Veterinary services. If the training was just basic commands, I’d say it was way too expensive, but my little guy was going to be a K-9 operative and would accompany me on my missions. I thought he would be good protection, but also a good tool for winning over the trust of the traumatized kids I’ll encounter on my missions. Plus, I’d still have someone to cuddle with me when Travis couldn’t be with me at night. He looked a lot like Niko, except Niko was a German Shepherd and my little guy would grow up to be smaller as a Belgian Malinois. There would be some cons to owning this type of dog, which included shedding mostly, but that’s why I was happy grooming services were included in the package I purchased. I always wanted a dog, but I had a horse, and we were always so busy. We simply didn’t have the time for a dog and always wanted one, but I never pictured myself with a full bred one. I always thought I’d adopt a shelter dog when I finally settled down. But Creed’s Lake didn’t breed shelter dogs. No, they had a purpose their breeds were perfect for, and they didn’t adopt their dogs out to regular civilians. They were all fixed before they were adopted, andthey were only adopted by law enforcement, people with special needs, and the military. Plus, Creed’s Lake did have a shelter dog program, so I didn’t feel so guilty by adopting one that was bred on purpose. My Little guy wouldn’t necessarily need to be neutered though, he could be used for future breeding. He comes from a long line of K-9 officers and K-9 soldiers. His mother was in the Army and his father was a K-9 officer from New York. I have his family medical history and all of his shot records.

I already went through all the screenings, wrote the check, and signed the contract, so we were ready to go home. Sam helped me load his supplies and food, just as Addie came running up. She practically jumped into Sam’s arms then monkey hugged him, then turned to look at me. Her eyes grew wide, and her smile was even wider. “Wow, you bootifool.”

I laughed. “I’m kinda a witch today.”

She pointed at me as she yelled for Morgan who came waddling up to us and looked completely miserable.

“Da Maween wady is bootifool. Wook at her!”

Beautiful? I looked like a goofy witch or maybe a boring version of Harley Quin.

“Wrenly is always beautiful.” Morgan gave me a hug then looked down at my puppy and gave him a little pet as I held him. “Who do we have here?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve not named him yet, and think I’ll wait for Travis.”

Addie was still pointing at me. “I wanna wear make up like da maween wady! She so…” Addie tapped her chin then smiled. “Pwetty wike Mawificent.”

Morgan laughed. “I believe our Addie was born an Emo kid.”

Sam spoke up. “Well ladies, I’d love to stay and talk, but I have work waiting for me inside.” Addie gave him a kiss on the cheek before he sat her down.

“Bye mommy!” Addie went running toward the doors, beating Sam inside.

Morgan was still smiling as she watched Addie disappear then looked at me. “How are you doing? Adjusting well, I hope?”

I looked down at my little puppy then back at Morgan. “Yeah, I’m really starting to feel at home. I just wish the Originals would make their announcements soon. I’m ready to get to work.”

Morgan’s eyes lit up. “Creed told me about Travis. He’s a smart man and I just adore him.”

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