Page 81 of Irons

I laughed. “Do you remember the first time I ran, and you couldn’t catch me?”

She whimpered. “Why do you have to remember that kind of stuff?” She hid her face in her hands.

“Right, like I’m supposed to believe you’re embarrassed. You told on me that day and tried to get me in trouble because I ran from you and wouldn’t play. Your grandma was not happy with you at all.” I mocked her. “Grandma, Travis won’t let me fist him and he ran away from me.”

She pointed at me. “That was not how I said it, and it was not my fault! I heard it from some kids on the bus and they made it sound like a fun game, like arm wrestling. You know how competitive I am, Travis!”

“Your grandma called your dad crying.” I reminded her.

“They weren’t sad tears, she was laughing, and you were both jerks. Nobody would tell me what it was, and for some reason you looked scared. Thanks to you, my dad didn’t want to come home that night because he was scared I was going to ask him. I asked Google and wasn’t impressed with what I learned.”

I laughed. “You started with all that when we were still babies. You tried to kiss me when I was seven, Wrenly.”

She crossed her arms and huffed. “It’s not my fault you were always so cute.”

“By the time we were eight, you had our entire futures planned out.” I glanced at her, and she was smiling.

She sighed. “It was a beautiful future too.”

“What was it again? Something about me working in an office and I was the boss, while you stayed home with all the pets and babies.” I reminded her.

“No, you were going to play basketball on television, and I was going to love all the lost animals you found for me. Oh yeah, and I was going to have lots of babies. The office thing wasn’t supposed to happen until later, when you got fat and lost all your hair. Didn’t you ever think about our futures when we were that little?”

I glanced at her. “I was a kid, boys don’t think like that, Wrenly. The thing I thought about the future most was what we were going to have for lunch. Especially when your grandma was around, she even made me think about what was for supper.” I paused for a moment. “I do remember planning my escape route when you came over and started acting weird.”

She laughed. “Alright, I can’t blame you for that one.”

I lied, because I thought about her all the time. I couldn’t count how many times I dreamed about running away and taking her with me. I thought I had it all figured out. I’d somehow play basketball, or join a rodeo, I wasn’t sure, but she was always with me. Not as a girlfriend, as the girl that was my best friend. Even when I was seven or eight, I couldn’t imagine running away without her. She needed me and that made me feel big and strong. I always wanted to take care of her.

I put my hand on her leg, then squeezed it. “I need to talk to you about something.” I didn’t really want to, but I felt like she deserved a warning. I still wasn’t all that confident.

“Sure.” She laid her head on my shoulder.

“This stays between us, okay?”

She nodded. “Please don’t tell me you’re taking a mission already.”

I squeezed her leg. “Not for a million bucks. I’m not ready to be away from you. It has to do with my dating history. I’m only telling you this because it’s something that worries me.”

“O…kay.” She sounded a little paranoid.

“Do you remember when you asked me about the Originals last mission for Delta Force? The one where a woman was raped?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

Damn I hated talking about my dysfunction. I only told a few former girlfriends because it wouldn’t stay hard, and I told the therapist I saw in Clarity. Except the therapist got to hear the entire fucked up story, unlike the women of my past that experienced the disappointment of my failures. “Before that mission, well actually, I could take it back further. Girls were almost the last thing on my mind while I was incarcerated and again when I worked on that farm. I changed a lot, and needed to do some work on myself. I didn’t touch a girl again until I was out of basic training. I had a few wild years, but got bored quickly with it. So, I had a few short term girlfriends. As you know it’s hard to manage a relationship and special forces.” I pulled into my driveway.

“I’m more than aware.” She said.

“I told you I wasn’t assigned to that mission, but went in later with a rescue team.” I parked the truck in my garage.

“Yes, that’s what you said.” She yawned.

“When we talked about it, I didn’t tell you how much that mission impacted my life. Wrenly, that woman was Bolton.”

She tensed next to me. “Oh my God.” She whispered.

“That’s not all, we found a fourteen year old American girl that was kidnapped from her parents while on a missionary trip. Thankfully, we made it before she was also raped, but it had a profound impact on my life. I’ve been seeing a therapist in Clarity for many years now. I had been experiencing some flashbacks at the worst possible times. It was leaving you that fueled my nightmares, but it was what happened to Bolton and that young girl that fueled my flashbacks. Nobody else knows because it only happened at times in which I wasn’t exactly needed for a mission. Of course, I sure as hell wasn’t going to Bolton for help, so I found help in Clarity.”

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