Page 6 of Irons

“If I didn’t respect you so much I’d have your ass for that shit. You suck ass though, I went from being teased about her boobs to now that stupid family reunion shit. My sister is such a bitch sometimes.” Patrick threw back his beer.

“Your sister is amazing.” Creed loved his wife more than anything in this world. “Oh, and yes, they’re real.”

“Fuck you, Creed!” Patrick took a swig of his beer. “Oh yeah? Amazing, huh? Check her out now, she’s coming this way.” Patrick pointed his beer toward her, and we all turned to see her walking toward us with Melissa. Morgan was gorgeous, but as unbelievable as it was, she was even more gorgeous pregnant with twins. Maybe it was because we all loved her and Creed like family, or it was because she actually did glow.

“You just wait until these babies come. Then we can have a real race.” She said to Melissa.

“Just walk and quit complaining.” Melissa rolled her eyes.

“You’re the one bitching because I can’t keep up with you! Have you not seen my waddle?” Morgan said and I was already laughing.

“Do you know what I see when I look straight at you?” Melissa asked just as they stopped next to our table and Morgan was acting like she was out of breath. Creed stood and pecked her cheek before he sat back down.

“A nice set of boobs? They’re real you know.” Morgan bragged then winked at Patrick. “I heard it was Rossi night at the firehouse.”

“Screw you, fatass!” Patrick growled.

Melissa was trying not to laugh. “Your coochie, Morgan! Literally, I see your crotch, so stop complaining that I walk too fast. You almost tripped over me the other day! You can’t even see me over that belly of yours, and that means my legs are shorter than yours.”

It was my turn to laugh so hard it hurt.

Morgan opened her mouth to say something, but Melissa spoke over her. “No! Don’t you dare bring up the other day. That is not in my job description. That’s Creed’s job, not mine. You can be such a bitch, I’m not shaving you!”

Morgan’s face turned red, and her jaw dropped. “You’re such a little asshole!”

Creed was holding his stomach laughing, then Melissa looked at Drakos. “You better shut up too! Don’t you even start on me about convenience and my height being at my own advantage. I am not one of Felicity’s girls!”

I was falling out of my chair, and Creed was holding on to Morgan’s arm for support as he laughed too hard to make any noise. I never saw his face so red in my life.

Melissa looked at Patrick. “No! I don’t care about tips, you fucking freak. I’m not giving you and all these other assholes a pole dance! I’m also allergic to latex, so lay off! And yes, an average dick does fit, you prick.”

A few months ago, Patrick got drunk and told a story about fucking a girl with a condom and she swelled up so much they were dog tied. He said the trip to the medicine cabinet for a Benadryl was interesting.

Patrick was still laughing.

Morgan narrowed her eyes on Patrick. “Why are you so happy? You act like we’re at a family reunion or something.”

That was when Melissa almost fell over laughing.

“At least I’m not mom and dad’s teen crisis!” Patrick was obviously annoyed.

“Patrick! You’re such an idiot! You’re my Irish twin, good lord you’re the real crisis that made their problem twice as bad!”

“Dude, your mom is allergic to latex!” Drakos bellowed out and we all laughed.

“Fuck you, Drakos!” Patrick was getting pissed.

Suddenly, Melissa gagged, and we all looked at her before her little legs took off and she ran behind Patrick for cover.

“Oh god! Fuck you, Morgan!” Magnus stood and jumped back about five feet, and all hell broke loose at our table. Chairs scraped the floor as they were pushed back, and one fell over.

“I’m blind!”

“I can taste it!”

“It’s like oil!” Gag noise. “It’s sticks to me like fucking oil, and I can never get rid of it. I think it sticks to my clothes.”

Morgan smiled with satisfaction as she took a seat. “I thought none of you were going to offer me your seat.”

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