Page 61 of Irons

Then he was killed, and I thought I might as well go with him. I felt useless and scared, then my parents neglect made it worse. For God sakes, they left me at the fucking funeral home with my dead uncle and the death of his promises. It took me realizing that it didn’t matter how they felt or why they didn’t care. It was time to let go of them in every way possible. I had to learn to live a life where they didn’t exist anymore. All that mattered at that point was how I felt about myself. As I madestrides toward getting better, I found pride in myself and that’s what helped the most.

Creed, Magnus, and I had one thing in common that made us good operatives and commanders. I didn’t have it until I cleared my mind of all the things that weighed me down. I discovered it when I joined CAD. All three of us had a way of reading people. We were able to see when a fellow operative wasn’t in the right mind for a mission. We were able to look at a target and somehow know what they were feeling. Sometimes it was regret, but most of the time it was anger that their life of terror was over. Some died with pride, because they were brave and died for their beliefs, they thought they were fucking martyrs.

Magnus and I spoke quite often when we watched Creed fall in love. We knew it before he did, and we also know that Drakos behaves the way he does because he’s battling his demons. He’s stuck in that kitchen where he found his dead parents. It’s like he is stuck at the age of eight and held out hope that his mom would wake up after his dad killed her then himself. He’s still that scared little boy that would hide in the closet when his dad beat the shit out of his mom. He loved the closeness of sex, small doses of relief, but was scared to admit he needed more. He needed to be loved despite his flaws and his trauma. He was scared he would end up like his father because of the anger he held deep down and never wanted to get close enough to a woman that could become prey to that anger.

Axton is angry, and has a rage inside him that may never let him have peace. He’s still dreaming of beating his dad the way his dad beat him.

Wrenly is a different story. She says she’s not afraid to share her past with me, but there’s something about it that holds her back. She lied tonight, I know she’s scared to tell me.Something bad happened and somehow it relates to me. Maybe not directly, but it’s something that she thinks may hurt me when I learn the truth.

It's been a week, and just like every night so far, I can’t sleep. There was no way to prepare myself for what would happen after seeing her again then spending so much time with her. She doesn’t know that for fifteen years, she was on my mind. Every damn day I’d see something that reminded me of her, and I would relive those memories of her over and over again.

I want her so damn bad, it’s insane. There would be nothing better than taking my time as we made love, but it’s more than just sex. It’s experiencing her in every way. To learn everything about her and having her close to me. I don’t just desire her lips against mine, I desire her laugh and the way her eyes light up when she looks at me. The love I had for her as a kid, doesn’t compare to the love I feel for her now. That was like a tiny seed that was planted but waited and waited until one day it shot up quickly and bloomed into something bigger than I’ve ever felt in my life. Something nearly supernatural, it’s power is overwhelming and it laid dormant in me my whole life, like loving her was written in my DNA. I just needed to let go of the pain before it could be released. A week, one week and my life is completely changed. Am I crazy or is this real?

There’s no way I’m not reading her right. She feels it just as strong as me. I see it in her eyes, especially when she’s smiling at me, or laughing at something I said. I feel it when her hand slides into mine, and when I hold her in my arms. Fuck, it’s so strong, it’s even in her voice when we talk. She doesn’t look at anyone in the room the way she looks at me. Mother fuck it reminds me of when her mom died, and she ran into my arms. She had just experienced something horrible, but looked at me for help, and I was only six years old, just like her. It was oneof the most memorable moments of my life. I think of Addie, and I just don’t see how a child that young could find that much comfort in another child the same age.

I see the same look in Wrenly’s eyes now that I saw then. Like she needed me to fix all of her hurts. Something is hurting Wrenly far worse than anything else she ever experienced, and I can feel it. I can feel that pain and I can’t fix it unless she talks to me about it. Pushing her too hard could push her away and I had to be patient. Until that time comes, I can’t do anything about how I feel for her.

Earlier, in the pre-mission briefing, I saw how she looked at me and I almost fell back into the wall. It hit me so damn hard. She was looking at me with pride, and I never felt so fucking awesome in my life. Damn I wish that fifteen year old kid knew she would look at him that way someday.

Then she looked at me like she was about to rip my clothes off me. Dammit, for almost eight years I struggled to feel like a whole man, but I’ve had a hard on almost constantly for a week. Dammit, I’m hard now. Fuck!

I tossed and turned then finally fell asleep. My alarm went off at 0200 hours, giving me a whopping hour and a half sleep. I needed her to open up to me soon, or I was probably going to have a stroke or something. I groaned and didn’t have the strength to turn off my alarm. Getting up and into the shower was nearly impossible. By the time I was ready to go, it was still quiet outside. It was dark and all I could hear were crickets, tree frogs, coyotes yipping and howling off in the distance, and every once in a while the horse like whinny of a screech owl protecting his territory.

Wrenly experienced missions over the years, but she was about to experience something the Marines never warned herexisted. Our operatives were being sent south to La Rinconada, a gold-mining town in Peru. There were two objectives, which is why we sent two units. One was a contract with an Eastern European diplomat, who started an initiative to find several children taken from an orphanage to South America. We had reason to believe the children, who were young girls, were in Peru and about to be smuggled into China to be forced into sexual slavery. The children were being housed by an adoption agency ran by one woman and her two sons. My second unit was going to Lima, where we had a separate contract with a diplomat from Columbia, to find a woman and teenage girl believed to be enslaved by a Venezuelan national. Both were dangerous missions, small, but dangerous. I had two black hawks already waiting in Peru. Our men would be flown to one destination in our private jet, then taken to the separate towns. The one in Lima was a small compound and a safe extraction of the woman and girl was the goal. My unit going into La Rinconada is to take out three high value targets and safely extract the children. This was the mission that not only came with a contract, but a very hefty reward payable by a Columbian Cartel leader. Yes, we do have a goal of taking out the cartel someday, but until then, we have no problem taking their money in the form of a reward. My best guess is the three high value targets were somehow a threat to the drug cartel. The next twenty four hours were going to be long and grueling.

Backup

Wrenly

I was exhausted in a way I never experienced in my life. It was a mixture of adrenaline, emotions, and sleep deprivation. Looking back on the day, it was no wonder why I was so exhausted when it was over.

Many times, Creed’s Lake sent their operatives off on a bus, but at 0300 hours we watched as the private jet, that not only held twenty three operatives but also Magnus, flew off into the night sky.

I learned something I never once stopped to consider. It was something I saw that literally made my blood run cold. They loaded a casket into the jet. A fucking casket to possibly bring home an operative that was living and breathing on that jet now, but could die in the next twenty four hours. Travis said normally the families would say goodbye at the command center, but none of the operatives sent out today had families in attendance. In all reality for many of them, we were their family.

For this particular mission, Drakos was backup in the command center. We worked to watch the landing strip our jet was using to make sure it was still safe to land. Once our units were on the ground, they separated. Some went to Lima and others were to lay low and look like tourists until theirtransportation arrived. It was during that time when Travis gave me orders to go rest until 1700 hours just before the first unit was to engage. I refused, not wanting to leave him or miss anything. Many of the command center operatives were busy at work, using satellites to give Travis visuals of the areas.

Creed came by with lunch for everyone and to check in to see if any of our operatives encountered any hostiles. I was always amazed when in a command center and witnessing what all could be done with satellites. We could see the transporting vehicles taking our operatives to Lima. Creed’s Lake obviously cost Creed billions to build because the command center didn’t look much different than the ones I saw in the military.

I was even more amazed as I watched Travis take a seat in front of one of the computers and pull up the satellite feed he wanted. I didn’t know he was trained so well in computers, which was a training I was never offered in the Marines. Delta Force was the most elite special ops program of our time, and I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Creed left and the clock ticked on and on. We had been in the command center for around fourteen hours when Drakos ordered dinner. I was nervous, not because I didn’t have faith in our teams, but because I had never seen a civilian special ops mission and certainly never one that involved so many innocent children. There were rows and rows of computers, tech operatives that were both savvy and quick to respond. Above the rows of computers were several television screens and currently the largest screen was split into two maps and with the help of GPS, we could watch as our teams traveled toward their target locations. On the two medium screens were the satellite images, then next to them was the feed from the squad leaders on the on man camera that allowed us to see what was happening and they were in direct communication with Travis. One of them beingMagnus. Drakos had communication with each operative and was communicating with them as backup to Travis.

The first engagement would begin at 1730 hours and the next was to occur at 1900 hours. Eventually, Travis had me looking over the GPS on a smaller screen and I was counting down the kilometers and minutes until their arrival. The first unit was in the air and approaching the target location.

From that point on, time seemed to move faster and faster. Travis paced as he yelled out orders, while Drakos kept his eye on the second team as they also approached their target location.

I would glance at Travis, standing with his hands behind his head as he watched the feed from the squad leaders. Not only was he communicating with them, but also our tech team as they shouted out what they were seeing from their heat sensitive satellite feed. They could see people moving around, but had to distinguish between the operatives and the hostiles.

I hadn’t really been on that side of the missions. I was always on the ground, but I had only been on six, where Travis had probably been on dozens. The missions went on for hours, both successful, but also extremely stressful. I was leaning more and more toward the DV division of Creed’s Lake as the days went by.

Once the operatives and the rescued were on the black hawks, Travis told me to go on home, but I knew he was exhausted, and I wasn’t leaving him. Those missions were successful because of his brilliance, and I was so damn proud of him.

He stayed until the black hawks landed and all the operatives were safely in the jet with the rescued woman and children. The mission wasn’t over for Travis. He still had toget things ready for their return and our new guests for a few days. They would be looked over by the medical team before they were settled in for their short stay and send back to their home countries. Travis and his two teams didn’t just make a few million dollars for Creed’s Lake, they just saved several innocent lives. Their high value targets were taken out, saving more lives of those who would have been enslaved in the future. I had already found a sofa as I waited for Travis. The command center was nearly a ghost town, except for a few agents and their air traffic controller. Travis plopped down beside me, and I laid my head against his shoulder and yawned. I knew the mission wasn’t over and couldn’t imagine how exhausted Travis was by the end. He took my hand. “Come with me.” He stood and I followed. He opened the door to the bunker, and we walked by three doors until he used his palm to open one. Once he did, he pulled me into an apartment and then into a bedroom.

I laughed, despite my exhaustion. “Just like old times?”

He chuckled. “Except this time, we won’t wake from our nap for snack time.”

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