Page 59 of Irons

Eventually, it was like nobody else existed as I watched Travis speaking and got lost in him. I loved his hair and wanted so badly to run my fingers through it. I liked how it was longer and a little messy on the top, but cut close on the sides. When we were kids he had sandy hair that was more blond than brown, but now it’s a very light brown with some natural blond highlights. He looked like he always had a five o’clock shadow, but he obviously groomed it that way. It was a sexy look that didn’t take away from his clear and beautiful complexion. His eyes were always a very pretty shade of blue, and his nose didn’t look like it belonged to an operative. He must not have had many broken noses because he had a straight bridge and didn’t really have any deviations or curves. His lips were slightly full, with a subtle cupids bow. I imagined how firm they would feel to kiss and had to shift in my seat because my core was pulsating with desire.

I watched his body as he paced one moment, then pointed at the map in another moment. I could see his muscled arms somewhat flex, but they weren’t the arms of a body builder. Travis was slim, muscular, but not over muscular. Jesus, that ass when he turned around almost had me drooling on myself.

Suddenly, I thought of how adorable he was with Addie, which took my mind to another place. To a daydream of a miniature Travis, a little boy who was his son and shared his daddy’s gorgeous features. Those daydreams broke my heart and were the reason I tried so damn hard to avoid my attraction to him all week. I still hadn’t shared anything about my greatest trauma. Seeing Morgan enjoy her pregnancy was hard, especially since she was further along with her twins than I ever made it with my son.

I wished I could be the woman Travis needed. The one that could give him a world that included a loving partner in life and to carry his gorgeous children. I wished for that since I was a child, and it hit the hardest now because of the unbearable attraction between us. It was getting out of hand, becoming harder and harder to fight.

We weren’t on dates, he was my trainer. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard to distinguish between a date and the time we spent together. Most of the workday was done and I only saw him in the evenings. We had dinner together, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company, and he was the last person I saw before bed every night. We shared hugs, sweet little glances, and I couldn’t count how many times he kissed my cheek, my temple, or the top of my head when we hugged.

Usually by the third date people had sex, and my God I desired that so bad that I was wearing out my vibrator at night. His presence was so heavily around me it was like he was the air I breathed all the time. His scent would linger on my clothes, and I couldn’t make it through one day of training without daydreaming of him.

“That’s exactly the exit I would have chosen.” Creed said, which stirred me back to reality.

“Does anyone else have any questions or concerns?” Travis asked.

“I think you have it pretty well covered.” Axton said.

Everyone agreed.

“Alright, let’s go up and have some dinner with our operatives.” Creed stacked his papers. “Morgan is pissed because we ordered some desserts from the bakery in Clarity. Just don’t enjoy them too much in front of her. If you do she will go straight home and start baking for the return party.” He warned us.

Later, we were having dinner when Morgan asked me the one question that could lead to more questions I didn’t want to answer.

“Was being a Marine always your dream?”

I glanced at Travis, and he was putting salad dressing on his salad, but stopped to listen to my answer.

I cleared my throat. “No, actually I always wanted to be a veterinarian, but after listening to stories my grandmother told about being a nurse in Vietnam, I was interested in the military. A few other things also intrigued me, but I was accepted into a Veterinary Science program at the University of Oklahoma. I had an apartment with my fiancé at the time and still wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted. Months prior to that, I even talked to a recruiter, but other things that happened made college the best choice for me at the time.”

“Really? What happened?”

I took a sip of my beer then set it back down. “My fiancé had a promising football career, and a military life obviously made that dream impossible for him. There were other circumstances at play which made the military impossibleanyway. When those circumstances no longer existed, I broke up with him and went into the Marines.”

“What happened to the fiancé?” Morgan asked. “Was it the right decision?”

I glanced at Travis then looked down at my plate. “He is married with a son and now plays for the Kansas City Chiefs.”

I heard a few gasps and glanced to Travis again. He was looking down at his salad and not saying a word.

“Who?” Axton and the guys were curious.

“Matt Trenton.”

More gasps. “You were engaged to the fucking quarterback of the Chiefs? Holy fucking shit!” Drakos looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

“Yes.” I quickly took another drink of my beer. Maybe it was more like a gulp.

“How the hell did you meet him?” Magnus asked.

I looked at Travis and let him answer. I wanted the attention off me.

Travis cleared his throat. “He was an old buddy, we all went to school together, then some prick stood Wrenly up on the night of her first high school dance. Matt stepped in to take her last minute.”

“You were her best friend, why didn’t you take her?” Steph asked and Granger shook his head as to say he knew that prick was Travis and wanted to bail Travis out of the conversation. Travis really must have told his team all about us.

Travis reached for his beer. “Because I was that prick.” He picked it up and took a huge gulp of his beer. All the womenat the table gave out a tiny gasp and looked at me, but I took it in another direction.

“Anyway, it was the right decision. He is happily married, and I chased my own dreams. I don’t regret leaving, mostly because I was chasing his dreams and not my own if I would have stayed. If I wouldn’t have broken up with him he would have followed me and not became the man he is today. We weren’t right for each other, and it was a good decision for both of us.”

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