Page 46 of Irons

I shook my head. “Dammit, shit like that gets free rent in my head. I might not even sleep tonight.”

Wrenly laughed. “You and me both.”

“Oh, you can bet I’ll have some questions for that asshole. He better not hurt that girl. Addie will kick his ass.” I said and she laughed.

“Don’t worry, he’s a good submissive.” Melissa slurred when she said it.

“Oh, fuck no!” I laughed so damn hard I couldn’t breathe. Wrenly was holding on to my arm so tight as she fought for air that I’d probably have a bruise. Her face was blood red, and we held on to each other as we tried to get that vision out of our brains.

“Come on, GI Jane, let’s go home!” Melissa called out.

I fought so damn hard to calm my laughter. “I’ll follow in case she falls asleep.”

Wrenly was still laughing. “Thanks.”

My New Life

Wrenly

I swear I woke up laughing as I replayed the previous night in my head. Trying to fall asleep was a struggle because I kept thinking about Travis. Eventually, I fell asleep going through every possible sex position that might work for Drakos and Melissa and it was not healthy. Matt was a big guy, but our height difference wasn’t by that much, and we still struggled with a few positions. Then to imagine that Melissa probably had some sort of sex dungeon and tortured Drakos was even funnier. I wonder if she had leather outfits with metal spikes for both of them.

My amusement faded as my mind drifted to Travis. I finally got to see him and feel his hug again. I was letting my old childhood feelings creep back up and I knew I had to stop letting that happen.

Travis changed for the better and I couldn’t say the same for myself. I always had to work hard to keep the nightmares away after mom died. I had a horrible childhood before my dad found out I was his daughter. I thanked God every single day for him, but of course life wasn’t as easy as Travis thought it was for me. I loved him so much, and watching himself destruct took a toll on me.Then I had to learn how to live without him and I got it all wrong. Matt wasn’t the asshole in our relationship. That was me because I couldn’t understand my feelings. I cared for him, and I did love him, but not enough. That was obvious when I walked away and let him grieve for our son all by himself. Yes, I should have been there for him, but staying would have hurt us worse. I should have handled it differently. I wondered what Travis would think of me if he knew my past? I was ashamed of how I handled that situation.

The military was the right choice for me. I couldn’t say it was a great life to live, but it was the life I wanted. It felt good to serve my country, but I had a feeling Creed’s Lake was going to feel even better.

I saw my mom get hit by men. I heard her crying out in pain at night when I tried to sleep. Those memories seemed so far away and a bit fuzzy, but I remembered the most traumatic moments. I remembered a particular man that smelled like a skunk or something. I was young and remember it being strong, but couldn’t quite place what it smelled like. I remember he touched me, and my mom walked in and started screaming and punching him. The next thing I remembered was it being dark out and mom was driving and crying, saying there was a man she had to take me to see, and we would finally be safe. That man ended up being my dad. I was so young and memories have faded. Dad told me what he knew, and my grandparents on my mom’s side mentioned a few things, but some of my memories came from my nightmares. No matter how I looked at it, my mom and I were abused. To know that I could help little girls like I was, might help me make my decision about my career. I didn’t mind the idea of no moreoverseas missions, and working just a little outside the law to help people, made me excited about my future on Creed’s Lake. It was my choice what I wanted to do, and I like how Creed was willing to let us explore each option and choose for ourselves.

I curled up in my temporary bed and let the early morning sunlight that shined in from the window cast down on me. My eyes shut and I tried to imagine Travis had his arms around me again. Those strong safe arms enveloped me, and his masculine sandalwood scent still lingered in my mind. It had been a very long time since I had been in a man’s arms, but it never felt as good as feeling Travis’s arms around me.

I let myself imagine it for a moment longer, then finally forced myself out of bed and into the shower. Even though I didn’t officially start working until Monday, I still had to go to the command center and find out who would be spending the day with me. Axton said Creed wanted to assign an Original each day to help us acclimate to life in the community. Eventually, we would shadow each one, but for the weekend it would be more about getting to know everyone and learning how to use the resources available.

After my shower, I stood over my suitcase and pulled out a pair of jeans, a sweater, and my foe brown leather jacket. It was cold outside, but it really wasn’t that bad. The high yesterday was 55 degrees, so I didn’t need anything heavy. It was near freezing, but I figured the temperature would rise as the morning faded away.

Most people I met acted surprised that a former Sargent Major of the Marine Corp, like myself, loved fashion and girly things. Just because I can defend myself, stay in shape, and enjoy sports, doesn’t mean I’m not a woman. Especially onethat’s gentle and sometimes fragile. My physical abilities had nothing to do with my emotions. I am still a passionate woman that enjoys a soft hairstyle, manicured nails, and cute clothes. I also know that I am and always have been very pretty. My natural hair color isn’t the kind of blond most people imagine. I have light brown hair mixed with dark blond, with highlights here and there of light blond. It’s thick and has a lot of body which makes it easy for me to style. A few curls here and there and I have long heavy beach waves. My eyes are dark blue similar to a sapphire, and I have naturally long lashes. My nose is a little too small in my opinion, but it works for my face. My grandma always said I had bee stung lips. They were full enough, but not too full. I have an ugly mole just left and below my mouth that I was always afraid to remove. I guess I couldn’t decide if a scar was better than the mole. I did have a few crooked teeth on the bottom, but my top teeth were perfectly straight.

My skin wasn’t fair, but it definitely wasn’t dark. I tanned well, and my skin was nice as an adult, but I had some struggles with it in middle school, which left a few pores larger than I liked.

I wasn’t tall or short at five foot six and a half, so I’d say I was average. There was a time in middle school where I was taller than Travis, but that didn’t last long. I swear he grew overnight.

I looked in the mirror and I was happy with my shape. I wasn’t skinny, but I wasn’t fat either. The last I weighed myself I was one hundred and thirty three pounds. That wasn’t all fat, I had muscle in my stomach and legs. I wear a c-cup and in some bras a D, so I’d say my breasts are medium and nothing too thrilling. I’m an average girl that’s very pretty, not drop dead gorgeous or some kind of cover girl like Morgan. My dad always told me when I was growing up that my mom was the mostbeautiful woman on the planet, and I looked a lot like her. When I thought of my mom I thought of a sick woman that was too skinny and had skin problems, but my dad had some gorgeous photos of her from when she was healthy. I guess I could see both my parents in my looks.

After drying my hair, I added some waves then loosely twisted the sides to meet in the middle on the back. Then the waves trailed down my back, just below my bra strap.

My makeup was another story. While I was with the Scorpions, I colored my hair dark brown, so I always had to fill in my brows with a dark pencil. Since I was back to my natural color, they were more sandy like my hair. I loved makeup, but didn’t always wear it very heavy. I used contour, a little foundation, some blush and rarely wore lipstick. My eyelashes were always long, but they were too light, so I never left the house without mascara. Eye shadow was tricky because I wasn’t really a blond, but I wasn’t a brunette either, plus my eyes were dark blue. Earthy tones worked best, like copper and maybe a little bit of a peachy color.

I liked to keep my jewelry simple. I preferred small earrings because of my job, and I did like vintage style jewelry. Rose gold looked nice with my skin tone, so I chose a pair of rose gold diamond and pearl earrings. I didn’t wear necklaces, but I usually wore a bracelet. So, I threw on a very plain rose gold one that looked nice with my skin tone. A pair of heeled ankle boots finished the look, and I was ready to go have breakfast at the mess hall. I looked like a completely different person than the woman I was undercover. She had long dark brown hair that was always styled up in a ponytail or a French braid, wore way too much makeup, and her wardrobe was ribbed black tank tops with tight jeans in the summer. In the winter it was jeans and ahoodie. That was finally over, and I was so happy to be able to once again look like myself.

Before leaving my apartment, I shot Stone a text and let him know that I’d be there soon.

Once outside, the cool morning air reminded me I needed to get a car soon. The side by side was good for using around the community, but I really wanted to go for a drive outside the gates to explore. I sold my car just like I did everything else when I went undercover.

We timed it perfectly, Stone arrived the same time as me. Stone, he was a whole other story. I couldn’t count how many times other agents asked me how we sold our relationship to the Scorpions. Anyone that knows anything about Club life, knows it involves sex, drugs, and violence. Stone was already undercover when we met. He had been a prospect, and I didn’t join him until he got his cut and was a full member. During that time, he did participate in all those things, but I did not. It wasn’t unusual for bikers to be very protective of their old ladies. All of our shenanigans happened behind closed doors as far as the MC knew. Yes, we slept together, by that I mean we literally slept in the same bed. We never had sex, but we did kiss and grope each other around the other members. Stone was a cheating bastard for all the Scorpions knew. He did what he had to do to play his part, and I didn’t have sex that entire time. Unfortunately, I did see him having sex with other women. It was my job to look the other way and act like I understood that was club life. Honestly, I couldn’t have cared less who he fucked, there was no attraction between us so that was an easy role to play.

Sex for me was never easy. I never had the earth moving, life changing orgasm that rocked my world. I faked more orgasms in my life than probably anyone. Matt was kind and gentle, but we were young and inexperienced. I slept with afellow Marine, but I really wasn’t into it. He was a good lover, but it just didn’t work for me. I realized that after my baby died, sex kind of scared me. There was always the risk of getting pregnant, even with a condom. That risk always stayed prominent in my mind, and it killed the mood. I couldn’t risk getting pregnant ever again. There would be no way to face that kind of loss again and survive it. The doctors said I was still young and healthy, so pregnancy was a true possibility for me in the future. There wasn’t anything on this planet that scared me more than getting pregnant, yet I couldn’t bring myself to go through with any kind of permanent birth control. My IUD fell out three weeks after it was placed. I was on the shot for two years, then I had an implant for three years. The pill gave me high blood pressure and my boobs always hurt, so I just decided not to have sex anymore which worked out just fine. If I ever feel like I need something, I’ll try an IUD again. I only knew one thing for sure, I would never take the chance of being pregnant ever again. The only reason I got pregnant with my baby was because I was stupid. I wasn’t on birth control, and we wanted to try doing it bare with the pull out method. Well, let’s just say Matt wasn’t as good at the pull out game as he was at playing football.

I glanced at Stone as we ate.

---