Page 44 of Irons

She nodded. “From what I’ve gathered, all these operatives have something traumatic they need to face from their pasts. Creed did and he’s happier than ever. I don’t know anything about Iron’s past, but maybe it’s his turn to heal since you arrived.”

Maybe I wasn’t so different than everyone else here after all. I had my fair share of issues as well.

Acceptance

Travis

Robert Travis Irons 50, of Tulsa, entered this world on October 10th, 1972, with his twin brother Anthony Thomas Irons arriving two minutes later. He left this world peacefully at home while surrounded by his loved ones, this past Saturday, March 12th. He was born to the late Frank Irons, and Debra (Collins) Irons in Tulsa.

Many will remember Robert as a meteorologist on WTFA News 12 for many years. He redirected his career and worked for the National Weather Service for over a decade. Robert enjoyed fishing with his son, Brock, and spending time with his devoted wife, Emma.

Robert is survived by his wife Emma nee Trenton, his mother, sister Tricia, and his three sons, Robert, Travis, and Brock along with several cousins and close friends. He was proceeded in death by his father, Frank, and twin brother, Anthony.

Visitation is this Thursday from 5 to 8 pm at Markel and Agnes funeral home. The Rosary will begin at 10 am Friday and a mass of Christian Burial will follow at Saint Nicholas Catholic Church in Tulsa.

Please make donations payable to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

I stared at my phone screen in shock. They actually listed me as one of his sons. They also didn’t acknowledge Bobby’s death. I knew they would never accept it, but something like that shouldn’t be judged. I began to somewhat understand as I grew older and especially after getting close to Granger’s kids and then meting Addie. What I didn’t understand was how they threw me away. I’m not even Addie’s dad and I doubted there was much she could do to make me turn against her. At least he gave his new son his time, that was a good thing. I wasn’t sure how to feel. He had another son while I was just trying to survive this world alone. He could have taken me to live with his new wife and son. I could have met a real living and breathing half-brother. What was so horrible about me that I didn’t deserve his love and attention? Damn, it was like night and day when you thought of Tony and Robert. Two completely different kind of men that shared the exact same DNA.

I looked up at the stars and my world seemed so different than it did when I woke up. My dad was dead for two years and I didn’t even know it. He might have been a shit dad, but he was still my dad. The thing that bothered me the most was the fact that I still mourned Uncle Tony, but wasn’t as sad about dad. I barely knew him and had very few memories to look back on. Uncle Tony was more of a dad to me than him, so I didn’t understand why the news was hitting me so hard. The saddest part was that I couldn’t think of one positive memory I shared with him. Not one. He never took me fishing, never even took me to school or made me breakfast. I didn’t remember one Christmas with him. I remember a few with my mom, but most of my Christmases were celebrated with Tony, Clint, and Wrenly. After we opened the gifts Santa brought, Uncle Tonyand I would go to my grandparents’ house. My parents rarely showed up for Christmas dinner. I came to the conclusion that I reminded them too much of Bobby. Seeing me caused them pain, and that wasn’t my fault or theirs.

I left the community center and rode my bike out to Creed and Morgan’s property. It was quiet and I was able to sort through my emotions alone. I shouldn’t have left Wrenly. She probably thought I was angry with her, but that wasn’t the case. I wasn’t pissed at anyone, not even my dad. I let go of that anger a long time ago. I also let go of the guilt. There was also no resentment over the fact that both my parents had another child. They started over, that was good for them. It just made my memories of Uncle Tony that much sweeter. There were countless happy memories made with him. I got to know his buddies in the MC, fix bikes with him and Clint, we worked out together, went hunting and fishing, then there was a really sweet memory of when Clint and Travis took Wrenly and I to Disney one summer.

I looked back down at my phone and decided to read my grandparents obituaries as well. I was once again mentioned as their grandson. I went to look up my mom but realized I didn’t know her married name. She wasn’t mentioned in any of the obituaries. I even looked for her parents and they must have still been living because there were no obituaries online. I could easily find out, but I was at peace with everything concerning my family.

My mind shifted to another question. How would I react if my mom showed up at the gates to Creed’s Lake? Wrenly said she was asking about me. Then again, she was married to a detective and if she really cared to find me, she would have already reached out. I might have forgiven her, but that didn’t mean I understood her. I knew Addie for less than a year andthat little girl has my heart. She’s not even my daughter and I miss her like crazy when I have to travel. I learned a lot about life and myself after meeting Addie. Blood does not run thicker than water. I am not like my dad, and I would be a great father someday. Hell, half our guys have said they wouldn’t mind raising that little girl. I learned how precious children are and it was my parents loss every single time they abandoned and neglected me. I also wasn’t a bad kid, I was simply lost in this world. I was crying out for help and my parents were too consumed with Bobby to notice or care. That didn’t make my life less precious than his or anyone else’s. My time in juvenile detention was probably the best thing that could have happened to me in my situation. I lost Tony and probably would have ended up dead if I wasn’t arrested. I learned I was smart and tough while there. I didn’t leave unscathed, either way you look at it, I was in a prison and had to fight to survive in one piece. With that I learned to trust myself and to have faith in my own strength and resilience. Then I spent time in a group home and only had to do one year in a public school before graduating with kids a year older than me. I didn’t need my parents to be proud of me, I needed to learn to be proud of myself and my own accomplishments. Then I learned hard work at the farm. Damn, I loved that place.

I smiled when I looked up at the stars. My dad was up there somewhere and hopefully he found Bobby and the peace he never found on earth. I don’t know, maybe he finally realized what kind of son he already had in me.

I started my bike and went back to Creed’s Lake. Hopefully, Wrenly was still at the community center, and I’d be able to catch up with her. I saw Magnus walking toward Club X and stopped him. “Did everyone leave?”

“Yeah, but um…I think Melissa took Wrenly into Club X.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I wish she would stop bringing the girls there so late.”

“Are you shitting me? Does Wrenly know what she’s walking into?”

He chuckled. “Probably better than anyone. She lived with the Scorpions for two years.”

That never occurred to me. Holy shit, what did she…fuck. What did she participate in? I’ve been in clubhouses and they are raunchier than Club X. I looked at Magnus. “How long do you think she could have lived there without participating? Wouldn’t they become suspicious of her if she didn’t?”

He groaned. “Jesus, Irons. You don’t need to know that shit.”

My stomach turned. “Our own undercover participate.”

He gave me a sorrowful look. “She’s a grown woman.”

“I feel like I might get sick.” Memories of her little blond pigtails and scraped knees visited me, making it worse. I couldn’t count how many times she fell and got hurt, but ran to me to make it feel better. I had to dig my fingernails into my palm while making a fist to keep my mind away from thinking what she probably did to stay undercover. Did she fuck Stone right out in the open?

“Stop it, Irons. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you let your mind go in that direction.”

I stared off into space. I sure as hell know she’s not some thirty year old virgin …dammit maybe I should make myself believe that just to keep my sanity. Seeing her was slowly bringing back some familiar feelings. I remembered feeling like beating the piss out of the first guy that ever touched her. Hell,I already did beat the piss out of the guys that looked at her the wrong way, several times. That protective feeling I always had came back and hit me like a train on full throttle. I stormed toward Club X, but Magnus stopped me.

“She’s not a child anymore. She’s not yours to protect, hell she can protect herself. She’s not like Morgan, Steph, and Heidi. She’s an operative, Irons. Marching in there like a protective older brother will just piss her off. Chill out.”

I paced. “Is Stone in there too?”

“The hell if I know.” He answered.

“Fucking Drakos?” I was pissed.