Page 14 of Irons

Wrenly had no business caring for me as much as I cared for her. She had a real shot at a happy future, but that wouldn’t happen with me in it. My head was too fucked up and I didn’t even know when I was going to screw things up next. I sure as hell didn’t need her around me when the next shoe dropped.

I was at my parents and Stacy was on her way to pick me up. I hated the fact that I had to wear one of the stupid suits my mom got me for interviews. I didn’t even know where my parents were that night. My dad left for work early in the morning but never returned and I hadn’t seen my mom in a few weeks. If she did come home I was either at school or staying at someone else’s place.

I paced as I waited for Stacy. Was I doing the right thing? Was hurting Wrenly now any worse than hurting her later? My doubts were weighing heavily on me as I pictured Wrenly in a beautiful dress, happy, smiling, and laughing. I fought the overwhelming need I had to run out the front door and keep running for about ten miles, straight to her house then wrap her up in my arms and beg her to forgive me. Then again, did I deserve her forgiveness?

Wrenly was and always would be the most important person in my life, besides myself since I began realizing I was a very selfish person. I was selfish every time I wished Bobby’s body was found so my parents would shift their focus to me. I was selfish every single time I took advantage of my situation and Tony had to deal with the consequences of my behavior. I was selfish every time I smoked pot, dropped acid, got drunk, and fucked Stacy. My selfishness was endless, and I wish I knew how to change that about myself.

Who cares that I’ve never celebrated my birthday with my parents? Who cares that at the age of nine I had to sleep on my parents back porch when they forgot I was supposed to come home, and they were out of the country but didn’t tell anyone? Let’s not forget I wasn’t permitted to have a cell phone because they considered it spoiling. Thank God Tony finally gave me one. Who cares that the never gave me a fucking key to their house? Who cares that I could never play sports because I either didn’t have a ride, or because my parents pulled me into their search for Bobby? The school wouldn’t let me play sports until I got better grades and improved my attendance. I always went to school when my parents didn’t take me out of town. I loved sports and always wanted to play, but I never got anything I wanted. I tried to remind myself all the time that it could be worse. I could have been Bobby.

Stacy showed up. She wore a nice dress, I guess. I honestly didn’t care about what a girl wore. She looked the same as always but just changed into a dress. There wasn’t anything exciting about it.

Once we got to the dance, I looked around for Wrenly. I didn’t see her and the longer I kept looking, the heavier the guilt felt. She actually did it. She waited for me to pick her up, butI never showed. Eventually, the more I thought about her, the faster my heart raced and the harder I breathed. My lungs felt too small, and the room was closing in on me. I was just about to take off running toward her house when I heard people around me gasp.

It was like the crowd parted and a spotlight shined down on her when she walked into the school gym. I could have sworn my heart stopped beating and my body froze. I had to blink a few times just to make sure I was really seeing her. She smiled at a friend, and I almost fell over. Wrenly did not look like a freshman in high school. That soft and wavy hair fell over her shoulder in a loose braid, her eyes were so blue I could see them for miles away, that smile alone made my knees feel weak. But then, I saw that dress. Holy shit, Wrenly had the boobs of a grown woman. She had curves and was no longer the tall girl who was too skinny. Her legs were long and toned, then I saw those heels and realized she’s not that tiny sensitive little girl anymore. In that moment I remembered every laugh, every tickle, every smile, and every single time she said she loved me. Me, Travis Irons, loved by that girl? We were just babies, what the hell did we know about love? That was when I accepted my decision. I did the right thing for Wrenly.

“I can’t believe Matt brought her of all people. He could have asked any other girl in the whole school. Why a little virgin like her?” Stacy asked.

“Because she’s the girl guys want for a long time. You’re the girl guys just want for one night.” I practically growled. She didn’t care though, it seemed like I could say just about anything to her, and she didn’t care.

She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, how much do you want to bet he pops that cherry tonight?”

“Fuck you, Stacy.” I turned away from her and took off to take a breath outside. A couple of my buddies were in the parking lot smoking weed, so I took a few hits before going back inside to tell Stacy I was leaving.

She made me dance with her before I could leave. She was pissed but I didn’t care. She said some fucked up shit and I was over it.

I kept an eye on Wrenly, and she looked happy. She danced, laughed with her friends, and I trusted Matt. He was a buddy of mine before I went my own way with my loser friends. I knew he would treat her right and I was glad it was him she chose to accept a date with. Before I left, I did approach Wrenly and told her I was happy to see her at the dance with a guy like Matt, then I left with my buddies in the parking lot. I couldn’t stay there and watch Wrenly with Matt. It hurt like hell, and I couldn’t stick around with Stacy who was acting jealous.

That was the night I met Samantha, the girl I was screwing when the cops busted us the night before Uncle Travis was killed. I didn’t see Wrenly again until my uncles visitation.

Present Day

“So, what do you want me to do? She’s what we need, but if it’s too hard for you, we can pull her from the candidates.” Creed asked.

“I don’t fucking know. Leave me out of it I guess. I don’t have the right to make any decisions for her, so go take your vote. Just don’t expect me to take any part in it. Tell the rest of them that I’m not well and going home.”

I didn’t want her at Creed’s Lake, but I also didn’t want her to lose the opportunity. She would be safer at Creed’s Lakeafter being involved in what happened to the Scorpions and the cartel members. She would make more money and have a say in what missions she took with Creed’s Lake. Hell, she could take a safer job even with us than the FBI, but she would turn my life upside down. Even if I was barely a memory to her, she was still a lot more than that to me. My best bet was to just stay out of it.

Hazel Eyes

Wrenly

I expected some memories to come back to haunt me during my visit home, but the last thing I thought I’d have to face was Matt.

I was frozen as Jill stood next to me and realized what made me come to a complete stop as we walked toward the bathroom.

“Oh God, nobody told you Matt came back home?” Jill asked.

His eyes were locked on to mine and I could see the pain in them was just as fresh as the day I left.

Eleven Years Ago

Matt’s arms wrapped around me from behind. His chin rested on my shoulder as he felt my belly. I was twenty seven weeks pregnant, and we both wanted our baby. We didn’t plan it, but we still loved our little one.

We were going to be okay financially because my grandparents had a life insurance policy on my mom, and it was given to me when I turned eighteen. We weren’t rich and itwasn’t all that much, it was money we had to stretch pretty far and budget wisely. Matt had scholarships and so did I, which meant we could afford an apartment of our own in Norman. We were both going to The University of Oklahoma. Matt hoped to play pro football someday, but he was going to study sports management, and I was going to start in a Veterinary Science program. Before the pregnancy, I was torn between being a veterinarian or going into the military or law enforcement like my dad. It was a hard decision, but I eventually talked to a recruiter and decided I was going to break up with Matt and join the Marines, but I didn’t yet know that decision was made for me when I learned I was pregnant. Matt couldn’t pass up his football career to live a military life.

“We lucked out since Heather saved all this from Jacob.” He said as I folded a white onesie.

“We’re lucky it’s a boy.” I pulled another one out and started folding it. We decided to learn the sex of the baby, so we were lucky Jacob was only a year old. My baby was inheriting his uncle’s things as my brother grew out of it. We had to be very careful with the little amount of money we had and Jacob’s clothes were a blessing.

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