Page 94 of Irons

“Wrenly had a rough year, and when she told me she enlisted I lost my shit. I was scared shitless, and dropping her off was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Then I learned about the Raiders, and it was like the life inside me was ripped out. She served for four years, and I don’t think I got one night of restfulsleep that entire time. Then it was the fucking FBI. I blamed myself, she was raised by a cop. It’s what she knew and damn it was hard. My buddies had daughters. All of them either went to college and got safe jobs or they married and started families. Not my kid. She always had to challenge herself. I’m damn lucky I haven’t had a stroke or a heart attack yet. I hope like hell Jacob takes a safer route than myself and Wrenly in life. Maybe he will take after his mother. Can you tell me one thing?” He asked.

“Sure.”

He looked at me. “Is she safe?”

I sighed. “You know her job.” I reminded him.

“The fucking SWAT team, Travis?” He snarled.

“I don’t think you’ll have much to worry about there, Clint. I don’t see her being an operator, more like a tactical team leader. She’s that good at her job, Clint. I foresee her in the mobile command unit, not busting in doors. That’s where she will be most valuable. I was not just impressed but proud as hell when she jumped in at training and had tactical resolutions planned faster than our commander. I stay out of it when it comes to her career choices, but I’ll admit I wasn’t real happy when the offer was made. I had no plans to be anywhere near her unit when she was deciding which division she wanted, and I already accepted the offer. Then she chose the domestic violence division, and of course you can understand my fears there because of Tony, but the idea grew on me. I think she will be safer there than on the missions I take. Plus, it keeps her on American soil. She also lives in a community that’s far safer than most. It's heavily guarded and she likes it. She has friends and she’s building a very fulfilling life. She’s very capable, and damn Clint, you should see her in action. She’s not afraid to speakup and I really was proud during all our mock trainings, but especially proud on the first one.”

“You’re truly in love with her.” He stated out of the blue. “So, what’s your intentions?”

I chuckled. “Damn Clint, you’re going straight for it.” I thought he would at least give me a few days.

“The two of you share a very weird history. It broke my heart that she could fall and get hurt, but run right by me with her tears and go straight to you, and you were just a kid yourself. Never in the history of childhoods that I’m aware of, would two little six year olds curl up and sleep the way the two of you did. It seemed like all you thought about was Wrenly and keeping her safe. Yeah, you liked normal kid stuff like sports, and you were Tony’s shadow, but Wrenly was always number one. She was obsessed with you, and the connection the two of you had could be very dangerous for her. She already had her heart broke once, I’m not sure she will survive it a second time.”

I glanced at him, took a swig of my beer, then looked out toward the woods Wrenly and I would play in as kids. “Let’s just say there will be a day that may come sooner than later where I’ll come to you and ask a very important question. That’s why I’m home, it has nothing to do with me but everything to do with Wrenly. You’re her dad and she is a daddy’s girl, so it’s important that I face my past and reconnect with her family.”

“Did she talk to you about the years she lived here without you?” He asked.

“Yeah.” It wasn’t a subject I enjoyed.

“So, you know about Matthew?” He asked again.

“And Tyler.” I took another swig of my beer, the reminder of Wrenly’s pain made it taste sour.

Clint was quiet for a moment before he spoke in a very sad tone. “That kind of loss changes a person. We got to hold Tyler, and it was the most heart wrenching thing I ever experienced. My baby girl was dying on the inside and I knew she would never be the same.” He paused for a moment. “She grieved in a similar way she did when you left. Her grades dropped, she wouldn’t get out of bed, she dropped out of most the activities she always enjoyed, and it was Matt that helped motivate her eventually. He’s a good man and he was in just as bad of shape as Wrenly when they lost Tyler. He wanted justice, but of course that died down with the help of his family and pastor. Matt was raised by a religious family, and truly grasped on to his faith. We were never religious, so the match between them seemed odd, but somehow they made it work for a few years. Matt is still in love with Wrenly, and that will probably never change, but he has moved on the best he can with a good woman. Unfortunately, I don’t think Wrenly was capable of loving him the way he did her. She really broke him, and I think he would leave his wife today if he had another chance at Wrenly.”

“Why are you telling me this, Clint?” The last thing I wanted to hear about was how much another man loved Wrenly.

“Don’t leave her again, Travis. The last time you did it was catastrophic, and Mathew was a casualty of the aftermath. I’d hate to imagine what would happen if you did it a second time.” He warned me.

I took the last swig of my beer. “Like I said, a day is coming when I’ll ask you a very important question.” The last thing I needed was to add another name to the people I wronged and felt guilt over. For me, guilt leads to self pity, and self pity leads to self destruction

Unsure

Wrenly

“Are you alright?” I asked Heather as she added vegetables to a stock pot.

“Yeah, it’s just…he looks so much like him.”

“He does, but he doesn’t realize it. Even when we were children he looked like Tony, way more than his mother. It’s not exactly surprising since Tony and Robert were identical twins. Does it bother you?” I was chopping the vegetables she was adding.

She looked alarmed. “No, I swear it doesn’t bother me, it’s just…he makes me think of Tony.”

I glanced at her as I chopped a carrot. “You were deeply in love with Tony.”

She sighed. “I was, then he ripped my heart out and left me devastated. He was probably the reason I never settled down until your father came back into my life. It was strange because all the way through college he was Tony’s best friend and also madly in love with your mother. I have no doubt that he will always love your mother, just like I’ll always love Tony, but what we have together is far more intense. I never would have thoughtback then we would marry someday. He was always handsome and kind, but he was completely off my radar because of Tony.”

“It’s not every day that a married couple have first loves that have died, especially when they belonged to the same friends group.” I took the cutting board to the sink to rinse it.

“I adored your mother, we were close, and of course we were also close to Paula. Do you think Travis will be open to a visit with his mom?” She asked.

I quickly responded. “Not a visit that’s arranged by any of us. I don’t think you should tell Paula he is home. Anything with the two of them should just happen naturally between them with nobody else involved. That woman could have reached out to him years ago if she wanted, and I don’t personally think she’s a healthy person for Travis. Imagine how you would feel if your mom looked in every corner of the earth for your sibling, but couldn’t even manage a Google search to find you. I can’t even stand looking at the woman, so I can’t imagine how that would feel to Travis.” I warned her.

“He plans to hide from her? This is a small town, Wrenly.” She stated, in a tone that told me she disagreed with me.

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