Page 68 of Incipient

“Hey,” called Trace, his eyes tracking something on my face. “You’re not going to lose me, Jemma. I’m not going anywhere. Just take a deep breath,” he said as he sat back and pulled me up with him so that I was sitting in front of him.

I shook my head frantically as he pulled on his boxers. “I can’t catch my breath.”

“Just try to relax. Everything’s fine,” he said soothingly as he grabbed the blanket from the edge of the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you don’t understand. You don’t have the full picture. There’s things you don’t know.” Words were spilling out of me like vomit and I really needed to shut my mouth.

“Then tell me, Jemma.”

My lips parted at the gentleness of his voice. Every cell in my body wanted to pour itself out to him, to lay down every secret I’d kept from him and beg for his forgiveness, but I knew I couldn’t do that. There were things he couldn’t know yet; dangerous things that could harm him. “I don’t want to hurt you, Trace.”

“Then don’t,” he answered as if it were that simple.

But it wasn’t that simple. Our past was just as tied to each other as our future was and I couldn’t see us having one without the other. What would happen to us when he learned the truth? When he found out what I’d done to him and how long I’d lied to him about it? The closer we got, the more fearful I became of the truth coming out.

Of losing him.

A part of me wanted to tell him everything right then and there. To unburden myself with the secrets I’d shouldered for far too long. But I wasn’t sure he could handle it and I refused to take the risk.

Not when it came to Trace.

Pulling in a shaky breath, I pushed the uncomfortable thoughts back into the dark recess of my mind. If I didn’t think about it, it couldn’t hurt me and that had to be good enough for now. Besides, we’d gone this far and this long without any of his memories breaking through. Nothing had cracked thus far. The spell had to be doing something right.

Thathadto mean something.

“Talk to me,” he said as he picked up my hand and held it, his eyes beckoning me to hand over my heart.

“I’m okay. Really.” My voice cracked and I took in another steadying breath. “I was just having a moment.”

“A moment?”

“Also known as a minor panic attack.”

His brows furrowed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head rigidly and dropped my eyes. “It’s just old baggage I still need to unpack.” I tried to play it off like it was nothing, though I wasn’t sure if my face was pulling off the farce or not.

“So, unpack it,” he offered, his baritone voice filled with reassurance and comfort like he would be willing to shoulder every last one of my burden’s until kingdom come.

“I will…some other time, though.” My cheeks stung with heat as the instant replay fired off in my mind. “I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day,” I muttered, looking for a rock to bury my head under.

He laughed as he reached out and touched my thigh, gently caressing it with his fingers. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Jemma. Not with me.”

I arched my brow at him. “Really? Because I literally just ruined sex.” Dropping my head into my hands, I mumbled to myself, “Who even does that?”

He laughed again, deeper this time. “Trust me, you didn’t ruin sex. Nothing could ever ruin that,” he said, gesturing to the wrinkled sheets and mess of pillows we’d just been laying on.

Burning heat flooded my cheeks again, though this time, not from embarrassment. His eyes searched my face, moving with intent as my stomach swooped under the intensity of his gaze.

“Let me take you out tonight,” he said, something deep and gravelly riding his voice.

“Like on a date?”

“Yeah. Like on a date.”

I had to admit, that sounded really nice. And intimate. Probably not the best idea. Not that jumping in the sack with him was either, but that was beside the point. “We have that meeting tonight at Temple.”

“Then after,” he said as his phone dinged from somewhere on the floor. “I’ll even let you pick out our costumes for the Halloween dance,” he said and waggled his eyebrows.

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