Page 86 of Incipient

“I know that.”

“Then you’ve made your decision?” he asked, hope burgeoning in his eyes.

“No. Not exactly,” I said and dropped my gaze, avoiding the disappointment in his eyes. “I have some questions first.”

“Questions? Very well then. I’m all ears.”

The lump in my throat thickened as I worked up the courage to ask the question that was plaguing my mind. “If I agree to do this, to join them or whatever, what happens to me after the fact?”

“After the fact?” he repeated, his forehead crinkling.

“They slept for centuries just waiting for this day to come and I imagine once the threat is gone, they will sleep again, right?” He didn’t answer, but I could tell he knew where I was going with this. “What happens to me when that happens? Do I get my life back after this or am I cursed to sleep for the rest of eternity, too?”

He sank back in his chair and let out a weighty breath. “The truth?”

“Please.” As if I’d want anything else.

“We don’t actually know what will happen once their objective is completed.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my head. That was precisely the answer Ididn’twant to hear.

“As daunting as that is to hear, I’m afraid there is no other choice here, Jemma. You must once again sacrifice the life of one for the greater good of all.”

My angry eyes snapped to his. “Well, isn’t that easy foryouto say. You’re not the one that’s always having to make all the sacrifices here, are you?”

“Indeed, you are right,” he said and then dipped his head in a nod. “If it’s any consolation, I would take this burden from you in a moment’s breath if I could.”

“Well, you can’t so it’s not,” I muttered without even bothering to sugarcoat it. Frankly, I was sick of everyone telling me what Ihadto do and what Ineededto give up for everyone else’s sake. What about my sake? What about the life I had planned? What about Trace and his vision?

I couldn’t help but wonder if any of that would ever happen now, and it was in that moment of wondering that I realized how much I actually wanted it to be true. I wanted to be with him—to walk down the aisle and marry him, to stop running and hunting and dying…to finally have my happily ever after.

What if agreeing to do this changed all of that? What if taking this on became the very thing that would finally take my future out from under me?

Visceral fear spasmed through my body as I looked up and met the Magister’s eyes. “I’m going to need more time to think about this,” I said, trying to shake away the feeling of impending doom.

He grimaced, the frown reaching all the way up to his disappointed eyes. “We’re running out of time, Jemma.”

“Well, I’m running out oflifehere so I’m going to need a minute to think about this,” I said and then stood up from my chair. “I’ll let you know when I’ve made my decision.”

He nodded, this time, hearing me loud and clear.

35. THE VIOLET HOUR

Lightening flashed outside the window as I curled up on Trace’s couch later that evening. Trace was stuck working the late shift at All Saints, which meant that I finally had a moment to think about my conversation with William earlier that day. Frankly, I wasn’t sure how I’d managed to make it through all my classes without having a full-on panic attack or major breakdown. Apparently, my powers of compartmentalization had saved the day yet again.

But alas, I was quickly running out of compartments, and time, and still had absolutely no idea how I was going to be able to make this monumental, life-altering decision.

A pro and con list seemed pointless, and I didn’t exactly have any parents or a best-friend I could turn to for guidance. Trace was the only one I could talk to about this, but I wasn’t even sure where to begin. I had yet to tell him about anything—about why the Horsemen were really here, about Nikki’s realbaby daddy, and about what the Council wanted me to do; to become. I hadn’t even told him about what happened with Dominic in the woods the other night.

My heart sank as my mind segued to Dominic. The void left in my life by his absence was as wide and deep as the ocean. Lately, I couldn’t even bear to think about him for anything more than a passing moment.

What we used to be was so far removed from what he’d become, and what he tried to do to me, that I was no longer capable of wrapping my mind around it. He went from being myperson—my everything—to hunting me down like it was open season for the thrill of it. But in my heart, I knew that it wasn’t the real Dominic doing these things to me. The man I knew him to be had loved me in the most intoxicating and freeing way one could love somebody. And so my love for him was ever present, even now, much like my love for Trace had been after his death.

There was no denying that I loved them both, deeply and completely, and that I was going to need to find a way to save them. Trace from his own mind and Dominic from the demon that had taken over.

And as if that wasn’t enough of a threat, I now hadMistressNikki Parker on my ass, too.

The sound of the doorbell echoing through the empty house startled me from my reverie.

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