Page 72 of Inception

“I don’t know,” I shook my head. “I try not to let myself think that way. I have to believe it’ll get better.”

“And if it doesn’t? Do you think you could live with the pain for the rest of your life?”

“I guess I would have to.”

“What if you had another choice? What if you could change the past?” His voice was low, controlled. “Would you do it?”

“Like if I had my own time machine?” I resisted the urge to laugh considering the gravity of it.

“Something like that.”

I didn’t have to think about it. I knew without a doubt that if I could go back in time and change things—warn him about what was coming—I would do it. “In a heartbeat.”

“Even if it goes against the rules? Even if other people gethurtbecause of it? Would you still do it?”

“I-I don’t know. Why are you asking me this?” I suddenly felt suffocated under the weight of the conversation.

“It’s just a hypothetical,” he said curtly. “Would you do it?” His eyes met mine, stirring me with their depth.

Would I sacrifice innocent people so that I could have my father back? I felt the shame before I gave my answer. “I would give anything to have him back,” I admitted, dropping my head.

I wasn’t sure what that said about me but I imagined it wasn’t anything great.

He pushed his knee up against mine.

“I would too,” he said in a gentle voice that made me warm. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for someone I loved.”

His words felt intimate, sacred, like I shouldn’t have been allowed to hear them. It made me wonder what it would feel like to be loved in that way by someone...

To be loved in that wayby him.

He pulled his leg away from me, steering me back from my errant thoughts. “It’s getting late.” His eyes were pinned on the door. “I should probably go, let you get back to sleep.”

I nodded and then rose with him even though I wasn’t sure how I would ever get back to sleep after everything that had been said tonight. My mind was still reeling from the eddy of emotions circling inside of me and showed no signs of slowing down. I had to get some of it off my chest before he left.

“About what you said earlier tonight,” I began cautiously, following him to the balcony door. He turned to face me, his eyes distracting me with their intensity. “I just want you to know that I respect your decision not to be a part of thisthinganymore, whatever your reasons are. And I’ll keep my distance if that’s what you want.” I nodded into it, affirming it as my truth. “But I’m not going to quit my job at All Saints. I just thought you should know that.”

I braced myself for his reaction.

“Okay.” He answered too easily, almost as though he had been expecting my refusal all along.

“Really? That’s it?”

“Things would have been a lot easier if you never moved here,” he muttered and then stepped out onto the terrace, his dark hair blending into the night.

“Well, I’m sorry your life is worse now that I’m in it,” I called out after him. “If it makes you feel any better, I wish I never moved here, too.”

He stopped abruptly as though I had just flung an insult at his back. Heart pumping, I felt my temperature spike with anticipation when he turned around and walked back over to me, stopping just inches from where I stood in the doorway.

“I don’t,” he whispered, leaning in. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my lips. “I said my life would have been easier, not better.”

“Oh.” My voice was a murmur, barely audible had it not been for his close proximity. “So then, um, are you saying that you’re...I mean, are you happy that...”Jeez, Jemma, speak much?

His dimples pressed in, a prelude to his barely there smile. “Yeah, something like that.” He pushed off the door-frame and walked away without saying another word.

Before I could formulate a guess as to how he was going to get off the balcony, he’d already cleared the railing and launched himself over the ledge in one fluid movement. It was completely elegant, and reckless, and stupid. Not to mention, impossible to land.

In a state of panic, I ran to the railing and peered over the edge, praying I wouldn’t find him splayed out all over the concrete below like tattered road kill. But what I found was even more disturbing. I found absolutely nothing.Zilch.Nada. No sign of him whatsoever.

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