Page 59 of Inception

Gabriel nodded. “I forget how new all of this is for you. I imagine it’s a lot to take in all at once.”

“You have no idea,” I said, rubbing my temples. “I’m still trying to digest the part about being a Slayer, let alone Dominic being a Descendant ofGuardian Angels.”

“Don’t be fooled by the names and titles,” said Gabriel, remarking my expression. “They’re all just different factions of Anakim depicting different lineages, and he may be a descendant of one, but he’s still his own person with his own free will. We all are. Unfortunately, Dominic’s free will has always gravitated to the darker side of things.”

I could see that about him. “Was he always this way?”

“I can’t remember a time when he wasn’t.”

“I’m sure that won’t make it any easier for you...”To kill him, I thought, though I left that last part out.

“I suspect not.” He turned to meet my gaze. “Does that mean you’ve made your decision?”

The answer seemed set in stone, like a heavy gavel anchoring me down under its uncomfortable weight.

Dominicwasa monster. If I told the Council about what he had done to me—that he nearly killed me tonight—he would be put to death for it. And even though he hurt me, and I hated him, and he wasn’t exactly human, and maybe even deserved to be punished for what he had done, somehow it just didn’t feel right knowing that if I told, I’d be forcing the one person who saved my life to kill his own brother.

I could never do that. “I’ve decided not to say anything.”

He blinked into me, surprised by my decision. “I’m not sure you understand the gravity of the situation,” he objected. The truth was, I wasn’t sure either. “I think you should discuss this with Tessa before—”

“No!” I shook my head decidedly. “I don’t want her to know. I don’t want anyone to know. It’s only going to make things worse.”For me, that is.

If Tessa found out about this, she would undoubtedly report back to my uncle and I didn’t want to give him any more leverage over me than he already had. Nobody could know about this. I made a mistake, I’ll admit that, but it’s done and over with. I wasn’t going to let it happen again.

“Promise me you won’t say anything.”

I could only imagine what he thought about me—about my decision to remain quiet. He probably thought I was being careless and stupid, or naïve about the danger Dominic posed.

Or maybe he was relieved by it.

Whatever it was, he wasn’t saying. He simply nodded, and to my relief, let the subject drop by the wayside.

I turned my attention back to the bustling trees just outside my window and quietly prayed to myself that I would not go to my death regretting this decision.

18. BLINDSIDED

I lay on my back watching the moon radiate from my bedroom window for what felt like hours, trying to make sense out of everything that had transpired tonight. It seemed as though the levees of my subconscious had finally given out, forcing my mind to be flooded with a steady stream of everything I had been running from. Things that I’d been too afraid to look at—who I was, who I was supposed to be, what I was expected to do. What would become of the life I was desperately trying to hold onto? What would become ofme?

The weight of each question resting heavy on my shoulders, and the consequences, insurmountable. I wasn’t yet ready for it, for any of it—the truth, the future, the responsibility—but I also knew I couldn’t stay where I was anymore either, because the only thing more dangerous than moving forward was standing still. And that was no longer an option for me.

So where did that leave me?

I knew I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s vampire-slaying human crusader, and truthfully, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready for that. But I also didn’t want to sit around here waiting to die. I was too young to die. I hadn’t even lived yet.

I had a choice here. Not a good choice, but a choice nonetheless. I could hide myself from the world, cower away and do nothing, and hope to God that Dominic or someone like him didn’t come along and find me again. Or I could become the person my uncle believes me to be and throw myself into the symbolical lions pit every day for the rest of my life. Either way, it felt like a lose-lose situation.

I racked my mind for a way out, for some kind of middle ground I was comfortable standing on. Not here nor there, but a safe place in the middle.

And therein lay my answer.

If I wanted to have a fighting chance, I’d have to go at least halfway into this. I had to make sure I was ready for him next time—like Trace had said. That I could defend myself. That I could fight back. That I could survive it. Because no matter how I looked at it, no matter how I tried to spin it, this was my reality now. It was life or death, fight or die—me or them.

And I chose me.

I woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly rested despite the all too familiar nightmare, and for the first time in a long time, I felt at peace with myself. There was a sweet release that came with making a decision, from resigning myself to a given path, and I couldn’t help but indulge in its sap.

I inspected my neck thoroughly in in the bedroom mirror before making any attempts to leave my room and was surprised to find that the two puncture wounds above my right jugular had nearly healed overnight. There was definitelysomethingat play here, something unearthly, and even though it was off-putting, I couldn’t help but feel relieved because at least I wouldn’t have to hide the marks under some ugly scarf at work today, or worry about trying to explain the telling wounds to my uncle.

---