Page 35 of Infernal

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“At the end of the day, more good than evil is done. More lives are saved than lost.”

“And that’s enough for you?”

His Adams apple bobbed. “Yes.”

“And the evil that’s done?” I asked, looking him dead in the eye. “Destroying lives and families? My family. Trace’s family. Is that all just collateral damage?”

“I suppose it has to be.”

I shook my head at him, disappointed. It shouldn’t be that easy for him.

“You have to focus on the bigger picture, Jemma. The greater good of all.”

“I wish I had your kind of blind faith,” I said, saddened by the turn this conversation had taken. “But I don’t see things as black and white as you do.”

“Maybe not, but you will,” he said with a tinge of sorrow in his words. “In time, we all do.”

I wondered if that was true. If one day, I would fall in line with the Order and carry out their brand of justice without as much as a second thought to anyone around me. I hoped to God that would never be me.

“As always, duty above all else,” said Dominic from over my shoulder. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, angel.”

That he did. He was full of warnings.

I studied Gabriel for long moment, unable to tear my eyes away from him. I could only imagine the disappointment that was smeared all over my face. “You’re going to tell them about Trace, aren’t you?” I realized.

He didn’t answer.

“You can at least give me a heads up, Gabriel. You owe me that much.”

“I’ve sworn allegiance to the Order,” he said, working hard to keep his chin up. “I have no other choice, Jemma.”

That was a copout if I ever did hear one.

I looked away, having never felt more distant from him than I did in that moment. We hadn’t always agreed on everything, and that was okay, but this was the first time we’ve ever been on opposite sides of the line. “Then I guess we don’t have anything else to say to each other.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he said, striding closer. “I can still help.”

“How?” I asked, doubtful. “By reporting every step I take to the Order?”

The last thing I needed was a mole in the ranks.

“Of course not,” he said, though his tone lacked conviction. “I want to save him just as much as you do. You have to know that. But I can’t sacrifice all of us to do that. The Order has to be informed and prepared. We all do. Too many lives are at risk here.”

I nodded, because I understood where he was coming from. I also understood that we were never going to see eye to eye on this nor was I going to change his mind. Not on matters that were black and white to him and gray to me.

“Please consider their offer,” he continued, his eyes pleading with me to listen, to graze the line in the sand with the tips of my toes. “Ready yourself in the event that we don’t find what you’re looking for.”

“I’ll find it, Gabriel. I’m not letting him die.”

“And what if the thing you’re looking for doesn’t exist?” he challenged, his dark brows pulled together. “What then?”

I let his words sink in for a moment. I knew it was coming from a good place—a place of duty and preparation and even of love—but it was hard to hear just the same. Accepting it meant I was accepting that this might not end good for me and Trace, and I wasn’t able to stomach that thought. There was no other option as far as I was concerned.

“I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge if I get there.”

Now it was his turn to shake his head in disappointment. “I hope to God you change your mind in time,” he said, his voice low and foreboding as he turned to leave the room. “For your sake, and everyone else’s.”

---