Page 112 of Infernal

Here we go.

I lifted myself off a still-unconscious Zane and shook my head at him. “Please, Caleb. Don’t.”

It was all I could say to him, but it was enough. He understood. He understood that I didn’t want to hear his words of commiseration. Not today. Not after what I did. There was nothing he could say to me that would ever lessen my burden, and I didn’t want him to try.

My eyes scanned the room as I took in the carnage around me. Trace and Taylor were dead. Countless demons had gotten away, and Zane was barely hanging on by a thread.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

They weren’t supposed to die…

Angry and heartbroken, I looked over at Ben, who had gathered Taylor’s body in his arms. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him—to go anywhere near them.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he said, as though he could sense I was staring at him. “I was trying to save her.” His shoulders were slumped forward and trembling as he cried over the girl he loved and lost.

A part of me wanted to say something, to take away some of his hurt, but I was too damn angry at him to even try.

If it hadn’t been for his selfish rush to deviate from the plan, Taylor and Trace would be alive right now, and I’d be somewhere in Hell with Lucifer. Instead, I was covered in Trace’s blood, staring down the barrel of a lifetime of sorrow-filled misery and insufferable guilt. And I hated him for that.

My stomach lurched, and suddenly, I was vomiting all over my shoes.

“Shit,” muttered Caleb as he rushed over and placed a supportive hand on my back.

I tried to swat him away from me, but he refused to bugger off.

“You okay? Should I get you something?” he asked as I wiped my mouth with my back of my hand.

I shook my head and pushed him back a step. I needed space. I needed air. There wasn’t enough air in the room—there wasn’t enough air in the entire planet now that Trace was no longer living in it.

“I can’t be here anymore,” I said, barely keeping it together enough to get the words out. My chest was heaving erratically. I couldn’t seem to fill my lungs. “I need to leave. Now.”

And I wasn’t just talking about this moment or this building. I couldn’t be in this town anymore. I needed to go. No—I needed to run. Too much sorrow. Too much pain. Not enough damn air.

“Call the Council,” I told him, knowing they would be able to cover up what needed to be covered up and make the rest of it go away. I wasn’t sure how they did it, and at this point, I didn’t care.

He nodded that he would, though the apprehension in his eyes never did leave.

“And Dominic.” I was already backtracking my steps, the sorrow rushing in faster than I could stand.

“What, uh, what should I tell him?” he asked, worry etched in his eyes.

“Tell him…tell him I did what I had to do,” I said breathlessly.Cowardly. I owed him more than that, so much more than that, but in the moment, I had absolutely nothing left to give.

Not an ounce or drop of anything.

I spun on my heel, ready to make a grab for the door, except my eyes tripped on the escape route and instead, landed heavy on Trace. My throat grew tighter and tighter the closer I got to him, until I wasn’t even sure I was breathing anymore. Kneeling beside him, I gently touched my palm to the side of his face as a hazy mess of tears sprang from my eyes.

His skin had already begun to turn cold, and the realization that he was truly gone only served to push me further into the realm of the living dead.

“I’m so sorry, Trace,” I said, my voice a broken whisper as I softly brushed the fallen strands of hair away from his eyes, one last time. “I tried.”

39. A RAY OF LIGHT

The days that followed were a blur of funerals and suffocating darkness that seemed to have no end. The final body count had risen to the dozens, sending a black cloud of grief over Hollow Hills. Local schools and business had temporarily closed their doors, while flags were being flown at half-staff all around the city. The entire town was in mourning, but even their cumulative sadness couldn’t begin touch the anguish that had permanently taken residency inside my heart.

It had been days since I had allowed myself to see anyone—to see Dominic. I still couldn’t bring myself to face him after everything that I’d done. Mostly because I knew he would forgive me. He would try to be my sanctuary from the blizzard of sorrow that had taken over my life, and I didn’t deserve to have his shelter from the storm.

Not this time.

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