Page 93 of Infernal

“Youwon’tdo that,” he corrected. “And let’s be honest, angel. You’re not fighting against this because of him. You’re doing it for yourself.”

My head flinched back as though he’d just sucker-punched me. “The hell I am.”

“Every second that you hesitate, innocent people die—”

“Dammit, I know that!” I quickly cut him off.

He paused and let out a sharp breath before continuing slowly, softly. “What you have failed to consider is that Romeo is being forced to bear witness to those slayings by his own hands.”

Everything inside of me froze.

“Every day that you refuse to do what you know in your heart to be the right thing, you are forcing him to live another day trapped in a vessel that he no longer controls, and while I do not particularly care what becomes of him, I know that you do. I know you would not want this for him.”

My hands shot up to my face, hiding myself away from the pain of his words.

In my mad race to find a way to save Trace, to finding an alternative to vanquishing Lucifer, I’d failed to fully grasp the fact that Trace was still in there. That he’d been an imprisoned spectator while Lucifer killed Hannah and all those people at Temple. He’d watched his own hands light the flame that caused so many innocent deaths.

A strangled sob escaped my throat as I realized he had been forced to watch his father take on a demon. My knees buckled beneath me, and I crumbled to the floor in shock.

He’d begged me to let him go—to stop Lucifer, and I didn’t.

Dominic lowered himself to ground, placing himself directly in front of me. “The last thing I ever want to do is cause you pain, angel, but you would have come to see it on your own, and by then, the damage may have been irreversible.” He brushed back the strands of hair that had fallen across my face. “Please do not hate me for this.”

My shoulders shook as tears rained down my cheeks like waterfalls.

“As intolerable as it may seem, you have the ability to put an end to this tonight.”

“How am I ever going to be able t-to do that if I can’t even stomach th-thinking about it?” I sputtered through sobs and then met his troubled eyes. “I might as w-well put the sword in my own heart, because I won’t be able to l-live with myself. I just won’t.”

Dominic lowered his head. He knew I was right. I wasn’t strong enough or cold enough to live with something like that. The moment would haunt me for the rest of my life, eating away at my soul until it eviscerated everything that I was.

“I can take the memory away for you afterwards,” he whispered softly through the darkness. “As much or as little as you need.”

My chin quivered as I sucked in a tear-filled breath.

“You could leave Hollow Hills and find a place far away from here where you could mourn your loss.” There was something so real and vulnerable in his eyes when he added, “I could come with you if you needed me too.”

I broke away from his gaze, knowing that none of that would ever happen. I didn’t deserve the easy way out. I’d done this to Trace, and I earned my right to suffer for it for the rest of my life. The gaping hole in my chest was only a prelude of what was to come, and I would take my penance for it.

The bedroom door swung open as Ben stepped into the darkened room.

“Jem?” he called as his eyes dusted over the room before landing on me. “We need to talk.”

34. THE RECKONING

Wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand, I struggled up to my feet, my heart pattering erratically as I crossed the room to where Ben stood solemnly. Even in the darkness, I could see his eyes were wet with moisture, and I instantly knew this “talk” was going to be a bad one.

My lips parted to say something to him, but my dread quickly shoved the words back down my throat.

“Tessa and Gabriel left with the bodies,” he said, rubbing the side of his face as his eyes slid briefly to Dominic and then back to mine. “I figure that gives us at least a couple of hours.”

“To do what?” asked Dominic.

Ben didn’t answer right away, which only made my heart race faster when I asked, “To do what, Ben?”

“To get Taylor back,” he finally answered. “I’m going to All Saints, Jem, with or without you. But I’m kind of hoping you’re planning on coming too.”

My stomach dropped at his words. “You can’t go there, Ben. The note said I have to go alone.”

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