Page 119 of Infernal

By the time I made it back to his house, there wasn’t a dry inch on my entire body, and even though I was shivering pitifully from the hordes of wet fabric sticking to my skin, I barely noticed it enough to let it slow me down.

I had one goal, and that was to set the record straight between me and Dominic. Once and for all. And he was going to hear me out, whether he wanted to or not.

Without bothering to knock, I opened the door and walked into the house like I owned it, making my way straight to where I knew I would find him. And he was there, in the den, standing by the fire with his back turned to me, and a drink in his hand. The man really did drink too much, but that was altogether a different story.

As if sensing my presence, he lifted his head, though he didn’t inconvenience himself enough to turn around. “I suppose you think I owe you an apology now?”

“No,” I said, still standing in the doorway.

“Good, because I wasn’t planning on giving you one.”

Nothing new there.

“That’s fine, because I didn’t come here for that,” I said and shifted onto my other foot, drumming up the courage to say all of the things that needed to be said. To lay all my cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. “I came here because there’s something I need to say to you. Well, a lot of things actually, and you’re going to listen to me until I’m done, because I think you owe me as much, and you can still hate me afterwards, and choose never to forgive me, but I’m going to say what I need to say. And I really hope that you don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he asked, still not turning.

“Hate me.”

He laughed dryly as he put his drink on the mantel and finally turned around. His face was a mask of feelings and secrets I knew I’d never be able to understand, to fully digest, but I drank them up anyway.

“I don’t regret what I did to you at All Saints, and that might make you angry to hear, but I won’t lie about it,” I said, watching as his jaw muscle feathered. “But I should’ve come to you after. I should’ve been the one to bring you back, and for that, I’m sorry. But it hurt too damn much, Dominic. What I did to Trace…” I dropped my head, my words fluttering away like butterflies caught in the wind. “I knew you would’ve tried to make the pain go away, because that’s what you do…and I would’ve let you, because that’s what I do.”

Realization settled his hard eyes. “And you wanted to suffer for it,” he said knowingly, and I may as well have been standing there naked with how exposed I felt.

“I still do,” I conceded, doing my best to stay honest with him, and with myself. “But I’m learning to forgive myself,” I offered with a shrug, because it was a process, and I wasn’t even almost there yet.

His expression changed—softened, and it gave me the courage to keep going.

“I know you think I don’t care about you, and I guess I can’t really blame you for thinking that. But you’re wrong.”

His eyes turned curious. Expectant.

“I worked really hard to fight my feelings for you, because I didn’t understand them. I didn’t understand how it was possible to be in love with Trace but still be falling for you at the same time. And it scared the hell out of me.”

He slipped his hands into his pockets as he stared back at me with such a visceral intensity that I almost toppled over from the head rush.

“It still scares me,” I admitted, my tenor barely a whisper now.

Thisreallywasn’t what I thought I’d be saying to him right now, but I couldn’t stop my mouth from saying it, and then I couldn’t stop my legs from moving, from walking over to him like a moth eternally drawn to the burning flame.

His back straightened as I met him where he stood, almost as though he were trying not to be affected by our closeness, but I knew he felt it—the torturous electricity between us. Because I could feel it too.

I always felt it.

“When I fell in love with Trace, it was so fast and so hard that I was sure that was it for me,” I said and watched as his jaw clenched at my admission. “And then you happened, and I felt it all over again, but in a different way. And it felt right, and wrong, and good and different, and I didn’t know what to do with that.”

His expression remained cool, but his eyes were completely captive, almosthopeful. “And now?” he asked.

“And now, I still don’t what to do with it, but I’m working on figuring it out.” I lowered my head, because I knew that wasn’t quite what he wanted to hear. But it was the truth. My truth. And it was the only truth I had to give. “I just thought you should know that before I leave.”

He didn’t say anything or do anything except stand there with his hands neatly tucked into his pockets and an undecipherable look on his face.

“So that’s it,” I said, feeling awkward and exposed. “I guess I’ll…I’ll leave you alone now.”

I started to turn, but he reached out and took my hand in his, holding it but not pulling. A hundred different emotions stirred inside of me like a storm slowly gathering strength over the horizon. I looked up and met his eyes, my hand tingling from the contact as a strange ache nestled inside my heart.

“Stay,” he said, his voice silky and alluring and completely irresistible. “Stay with me.”

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