Page 47 of The One Who Risked it All

That we’ll regret our choice to go against our families. That you’ll regret choosing me. That we are setting ourselves up for a lifetime of drama. That we’ll never resolve this stupid feud.

Those answers and a hundred more sat at the tip of my tongue. “That this moment won’t last,” I finally said.

Eli hummed softly. “It can’t. No single moment can last forever, love. But if you’ll let me in, we’ll spend our lives in a thousand different moments like this one.”

It sounded perfect. Almost too good to be true. My heart was snagged on his casual endearment. Love. He couldn’t love me.

I pulled away, immediately missing his embrace. “You should go,” I whispered.

“Go where? Is it too cold? We can go back inside.” He closed the distance, trying to wrap his arms back around me.

“No, I mean…” I shook my head, trying to regain some of the clarity that his nearness had muddied. “Rebecca and your brother will be back in the morning. The boys are asleep. Youshould go home tonight. Get a good night of sleep before your shift and all that. I just… I need some time.”

My gaze caught on his jaw as the muscles there tightened. “You want me to leave?” he asked. I nodded and created the distance between us again.

The hurt expression that crossed his face gutted me, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

“Because I’m a temptation if I stay tonight?” His words hinted at a joke, but his expression was worried.

A pained exhale escaped. “Something like that.”

What if this was just the result of ten days spent in close proximity, battling the chaos of three tiny humans together? What if our families never got past their history? What if a future together just wasn’t what God had planned?

I couldn’t ask Eli to walk away from his family, nor did I want to walk away from mine.

As much as I wanted to press myself in close and cling to him, I knew I couldn’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

“Talk to me, Carla. What’s wrong?” he demanded, his voice full of gravel.

“Just give me some time, okay? This is all too fast. I need some space.”

Eli’s jaw tightened again. He glanced toward the yard, his eyes shuttering his emotions. “Sure. No problem, babe. You’ve got my number.”

There it was. The mask he usually wore.

I hated it. I hated that I was the one making him feel insecure. It was the same expression he wore when his dad was making comments.

Reassurances waited at the tip of my tongue – promises that I would call and explanations of just how much I wanted to be with him. But I stayed silent. Because either way, we were bothgoing to end up hurting. Whether it was the rejection of our families or the rejection of each other was just a matter of time.

I just had to decide which one I could live with.

CHAPTER 18

Carla

Iplunged my hands into the soft mound of dough, pulling it out of the bowl, feeling the buttery texture as I pressed it together and smoothed it out. The kitchen counter was dusted with flour, evidence of my baking frenzy for the church Christmas program. As I shaped the dough into a ball, I tried to lose myself in the rhythmic motions, hoping they’d drown out the whirlwind of emotions threatening to overwhelm me.

I reached for the rolling pin and pressed it firmly across the dough. I’d made these cookies a thousand times, and my mind drifted to the events of the past few weeks. Nathan and Rebecca’s leaving town and Harold Wells’ subsequent heart attack had stirred up a hornet’s nest of family drama that I’d been desperately trying to avoid. And then there was Eli...

I sighed, remembering our awkward farewell last night before his shift and my trip to the airport. Remembering other days with his crooked grin and playful wink as he headed out the door to the firehouse had sent my pulse into overdrive.

The way his fingers had lingered on mine as he took the coffee I’d brought him, the softness in his eyes when he thanked me – it all meant something. Which meant all these crazy doubts in my mind were probably a waste of time.

Eli had promised me everything. A lifetime of moments together.

And yet… I’d asked for time to sort out my thoughts.

I gripped the rolling pin tighter, pressing it across the dough with renewed determination, channeling my frustration into each roll. The familiar motions were soothing, grounding me in the present moment. For a few blissful seconds, I could pretend that my world wasn’t tilting on its axis, that my heart wasn’t torn between what I wanted and what I should want. I’d always done the expected thing. The right thing. The thing my parents would approve of.

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