Page 40 of The One Who Risked it All

I swallowed hard, reminding myself of all the reasons I needed to keep my distance. As the last giggles faded and yawns took their place, a hush fell over the room. The soft glow of the nightlight cast shadows on the walls, and I could almost feel the weight of our history settling around us.

I tucked Joey in, smoothing his hair back from his forehead. “Sweet dreams, space explorer.”

“G’night, Miss Carla,” he mumbled, already half-asleep. I repeated the gesture with Linc, and then walked Alex to his room across the hall, tucking him in before slipping back out into the dim light of the living room.

I turned to find Eli’s eyes on me, dark and intense. I couldn’t look away. It was like being pulled into orbit, helpless against the gravity of his gaze. My heart did that familiar flip, and I silently cursed its betrayal.

Eli cleared his throat softly. “You’re really good with them,” he said, his voice low and husky.

“Thanks,” I whispered back, forcing myself to break eye contact. “It’s kind of my job.”

I busied myself folding the blankets from the couch, hyper-aware of Eli’s presence. When I glanced up again, he had moved to stand by the kitchen, his posture stiff and tense. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, and I could see the muscles in his jaw working.

Why does he have to look so... ugh. I pushed the thought away, focusing on tidying the living room. But I could feel the weight of Eli’s gaze, like a physical thing pressing down on me. It was all I could do not to squirm under the intensity of it.

Part of me wanted to say something, to break this charged silence. But what could I possibly say that wouldn’t make things worse? So I kept my mouth shut, pretending I couldn’t feel the electricity crackling in the air between us.

“Well,” I said, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the quiet room, “I should probably head to bed.”

Eli nodded, his dark eyes unreadable. “Right. Yeah.” He stepped aside, giving me just enough room to squeeze past him.

As I moved through the doorway, I caught a whiff of his cologne—a mix of woodsy and spicy that made my stomach do a little flip. Traitor, I scolded it silently.

“So, um,” Eli started, following me into the hallway. “Rebecca and Nathan are coming back on Sunday, right?”

I nodded, grateful for the neutral topic. “Yeah, their flight gets in around noon. I promised to pick them up.”

“That’s... nice of you,” he said, his words stilted and formal. It was like we were strangers making small talk at a bus stop, not two people with years of history between them. Two people who’d kissed earlier.

“You’ve got a shift at the station tomorrow, don’t you?” I asked, desperate to keep the conversation going, even as I berated myself for prolonging this awkward dance.

“Yeah, bright and early,” Eli confirmed, running a hand through his dark hair. “And then Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ on Thursday.”

We stood there for a beat too long, the silence stretching between us like a chasm neither of us knew how to cross. I found myself wondering what he was thinking, if he was as conflicted as I was. But I squashed that thought ruthlessly. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter.

I retreated to my room, my hand trembling slightly as I closed the door behind me. The soft click of the latch felt like a gunshot in the quiet hallway, and I leaned against the wood, letting out a shaky breath.

I pushed off the door and paced the bedroom. My mind was a whirlwind, replaying every moment of the day on an endless loop. Eli’s words echoed on repeat.It’s not like that.

And yet… I wanted it to be exactly like that. I wanted him to tell his dad to shove it. I wanted him to choose me. And he hadn’t. And even with my heart bruised and bleeding from the knowledge that I cared way more about him than he did about me, I still had to physically restrain myself from tucking myself into his arms tonight.

I flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling fan as it lazily spun above me. “Why does he have to be so... Eli?” I groaned, throwing an arm over my eyes.

The memory of his gentle interactions with the boys tugged at my heart. It was so at odds with the image I’d built up of him as the town playboy. I’d seen a glimpse of the man he could be—caring, attentive, patient. The kind of man I’d always dreamed of having a family with.

I sat up abruptly. I wasn’t doing this again. He made his choice. I heard him talking to his dad.It’s not like that. She’s just helping out.

But even as I tried to convince myself, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to the story. The way he’d looked at me when we said good night... it was like he was trying to tell me something without words.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. It didn’t matter. I was leaving in a few days. Back to my life, my students, my…

I trailed off, realizing I couldn’t think of anything else waiting for me back home that felt as vibrant and alive as the past few days had been. Even with all the tension and complicated history, being here—being around Eli—made me feel more like myself than I had in years.

I punched my pillow into shape with more force than necessary. I was just... nostalgic. That’s all this was. Nostalgia and... really impressive biceps.

I flopped back down, willing sleep to come and silence the conflicting voices in my head. But as I drifted off, one thoughtkept circling: How was I supposed to keep my distance when everything in me wanted to draw closer?

CHAPTER 16

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