Page 40 of To Have and To Hold

As soon as Emiliano shut the door, I hurried to the attached bathroom and turned on the light. I wasn’t certain what had happened. Was it shock? It might have been brought on by the sight of Em’s six-pack abs or were they eight? When he lifted his shirt, I barely noticed the gun.

With my hands on the top of the vanity, I stared into the mirror. My reflection was far from beautiful. If someone asked, I’d say I looked ghostly. My insides buzzed in an unfamiliar way. I touched my forehead. My skin felt clammy as if I’d run a fever, but that was impossible. I was too cold for that.

Reaching for the faucet, I ran the water until it warmed. My fingers ached as the water turned my skin pink. I splashed more water on my face, rubbing away the mascara that had smeared. As my body began to warm, I felt the rise in temperature on the back of my neck. A quick search of Mia’s drawers in the vanity and I found a hair tie. As I was securing my hair in a ponytail, I heard a knock.

“Come in,” I called as I peeked out into the office, expecting Em’s return.

“Izzy?”

“Liliana. I was expecting Em.”

“He said he’ll be back here soon. I wanted to check on you. I came earlier, but he was in here with you.”

I nodded. “He talked me off a ledge, so to speak.”

Liliana peered toward the window. “Yeah, that window doesn’t open and if it did, there would be about a foot to the ground. Not much of a ledge.” She sat in one of the chairs at the small table. “I’m sorry about the lunch conversation. I didn’t expect it to get so graphic.”

I took the chair opposite her. “Don’t be sorry. I need to know what is happening if I want to help the…residents.” I feigned a smile. “I’ve lived eighteen years of my life in a gilded cage, not even fully realizing what was happening around me.”

She nodded. “I get it.”

“Did you always understand the cartel?”

Liliana shook her head. “I had a crash course when I married Gerardo.”

“Em said something that made me think.”

“What did he say?”

“My mind is a bit jumbled, but it was about protecting children from the burdens of the family businesses. I don’t know if I hate my parents for doing that or love them for the same reason. I mean” —I gestured around— “this is a lot to comprehend. Could they have eased me into it, or was it better to have eighteen years of ignorant bliss?”

She grinned. “You’re very philosophical.”

I scoffed. “Not normally. It must be a side effect of the shock.”

“Well, Em gave Celeste and Reina an earful.”

“No.” I stood. “He shouldn’t have done that. I’m here to help them. I can’t do that if they’re afraid to tell me things.”

“Maybe you should clear the air.”

Nodding, I went to the door. As I opened it, Em was standing there with his fist ready to knock, his bicep bulging as if the matter of a closed door could never stop his entrance. Gathering my courage, I asked, “What did you say to Celeste and Reina?”

His dark gaze went to Liliana and back to me.

“We don’t lie to one another, remember,” I said.

“Thanks, Liliana.”

She was now standing. “I think that’s my cue to leave.”

“Don’t blame her. What did you say?”

“Most people would be appreciative of a lieutenant stepping in.”

“What did you say to them?” I repeated.

“I told them not to overwhelm you. That you’re having a lot of realities thrown at you all at once and to go easy.”

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