Page 9 of To Have and To Hold

“He said maybe I could live in the apartment building.”

My sister’s mouth opened but no words came out.

“Yeah. With the whores.” My nostrils flared as I exhaled. “I called and spoke to Mia. She sounds excited to have me there. She said where I live is my choice. Another option is to share an apartment with Liliana, the Ruiz who is also helping with the apartments.” I shrugged. “She’s not a lot older than us.”

“An apartment in California. Is that safe?”

I shrugged. “I think the cartel has her guarded. I assume.”

“If she’s that young, why is she living away from her family?”

“It sounds like she got some freedom with Mia’s help. When I first heard about Liliana, I thought that she was Catalina’s cousin, but Mia explained that she was actually married to Catalina’s uncle. Liliana is like twenty years old, Catalina’s step-aunt, and a widow.”

Noemi shook her head. “Damn, sounds like she’s been through a lot.” Wrinkling her nose, she added, “I’m so scared for you. I can’t imagine going out to California all alone.”

“Rafaele is going to travel with me. I don’t even get to use a famiglia plane.”

“It’s only for a month. You’ll be back.”

“I should have pushed for attending college.” It was too late for that. Fall semesters were ready to start all over the country. Noemi was about to begin her sophomore year in high school. People were moving on with their lives—people who had choices.

Sighing, I stood and walked toward the closet. “What will I even wear?” I ran my fingers over my clothes—dresses, slacks, blouses, and skirts. A glance down at my shorts and I knew they wouldn’t meet my mother’s approval for traveling clothes.

The click of my bedroom door opening summoned me out of the closet. Tony barreled toward me. His collision nearly tackling me as he wrapped his arms around my hips and buried his face in my breasts. “Izzy.”

I lifted his chin, bringing his reddened soft brown eyes to mine. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Mom just told me you’re leaving.”

My chest ached as I lowered myself to my knees and took his hands. “I don’t have a choice.”

“She’ll be back in a month,” Noemi added.

“You should.” His cheeks were damp with tears. “You should have a choice.” His little face contorted with anger. “I hate Dario.”

My gaze scanned from Tony to Noemi and back to my brother. “It’s not Dario’s fault. Mia asked for me to help her.”

His head shook from side to side. “No, the day of Ariadna Gia’s party, I went with Papà to Dario’s office. I heard them talking.”

“About what?”

“About you. Dario said it was time for Papà to make a sacrifice for the famiglia.”

Noemi joined the two of us on the floor. “He saidsacrifice?”

Tony nodded.

My voice trembled. “How am I a sacrifice?”

“I don’t know. They all were talking fast. I was trying to act brave. I forgot about it until Mom said you’re going away to California.”

I swallowed. “Dario made Papà say yes.” I stood and after making a complete circle scanning the room that had always been my bedroom, I sat on the edge of my bed. “No wonder he won’t budge on the subject.”

“Because he won’t stand up to the capo,” my sister said.

Inhaling, I watched as Noemi sat at my side. “I’m looking at this all wrong.”

“What’s the right way to look at it?”

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