Page 50 of Immortal Sun

Always theirs.

My intense arousal begins to deflate.

I’m a monster. How did I go from something that shines down on humanity to one who destroys it? Part of me understands she’s an abomination the other part wants to give her a chance at redemption she doesn’t even know she needs. She’s in the dark and as the sun it physically hurts not to shed a bit of light, to give her a choice even though I know it’s futile.

I squeeze my eyes shut so I can’t see her.

Small hands tighten their grip on my cheeks. “Look at me.”

“Didn’t I tell you?” I whisper. Why the hell am I shaking? “To be careful?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” she responds with a silly grin, “I don’t follow rules very well?” She’s clearly drunk on whatever Enki gave her, but I like her answer more than I should because I know she’s extremely confined by those rules.

A slow burn ignites in my belly, spreads until my blood is boiling—maybe literally. I lean in, pressing my body against hers. “Prove it.”

Her eyes widen. “What does that mean?”

I pick her up and slowly carry her to the guest house and into her room. “It means…” I take one step, two. “…that you need to go to sleep. Right now you’re feeling brave. You won’t later, and I’m sorry for that. I truly am.”

“I’m brave.” She yawns.

I nod. “One day. One day you will be. One day you’ll choose to be because the choice will have already been stripped from you.”

Her frown guts me as I set her in her room. The cat is on her bed waiting for her.

“Take good care of her,” I whisper into the air, knowing that the little shit will, he’s obsessed with her already.

Things aren’t going as planned if even the cat has a stupid attachment. Then again, he’s lonely, has been for a great while. He always says it’s because he’s waiting.

But for what?

We know the end of my trials are here.

We know the risks.

We know the ending just like the beginning.

Her eyes are already closing as I lay her against the stark white sheets.

I tuck the blankets around her while Bast moves closer to me.

“Don’t,” I whisper. “Just let me have this moment.”

What was once lust is now a perpetual sadness; one I feel so deeply I can’t breathe.

I attempt to inhale and exhale, but nothing comes.

I’m nothingness.

I exist for what?

Fury. No mercy.

My own power.

I squeeze my eyes shut so I can’t see her doom. So I can’t see the clock ticking second by second. I’m reminded why I’ve chosen not to have emotions, why I shut myself off, why I made that original sacrifice for the greater good, so why is it now?

Why?

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