Page 15 of Declan's Hope

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to touch you?” she whispered, rubbing over his calloused palm and fingertips. His deep, even breathing kept her settled as she cast her gaze back over his lax face. “Have you touch me?” She grinned and imagined how he would have reacted to hear her confession. “Maybe since that first night when you were all bossy and growly in another hospital room. Do you remember that?”

She’d never forgotten.

His blue gaze had leveled on her with a heat that had confused her. A heat that had been there every time she’d caught him watching her since—a heat she wanted to revel in. But she’d never said that truth out loud. Had never truly admitted it. Not to herself. And certainly not to Haven and Destiny. Though her friends hadn’t been blind to the fact she found herself drawn to him. When Haven had finally called her out on it, Hope had only told her determined friend she’d found him too overwhelming.

And he was overwhelming—to her body, her senses. And, yes, to her heart. Because she couldn’t help but wish with every part of her that her she could just walk into his arms.

Take what he offered.

And right now, more than anything, she’d give anything to be free to crawl up in bed beside him. Her arms literally ached to hold him.

“I’ve been so stupid.” She’d wasted time when she could have been with him. And why?

Fear.

Fear of not playing it safe.

And Declan Carter was anything but safe. Everything about him—just his sheer presence alone—spoke of risk-taking. The man was huge, strong, intelligent, and cunning. But along with that came tenderness and caring, and an innately good heart.

He had a smile that melted her.

It had never occurred to her this larger than life man could be taken away from her. She brought his heavy hand to her cheek. God, she’d almost lost him before ever having him as her own. She closed her eyes and rubbed her face against his palm.

Well, that ended now. She gently laid his hand back down and dashed away the tears she’d promised herself she wouldn’t shed. She’d cried enough during the endless, sleepless night before, and more tears weren’t helpful.

Her gaze glanced off the bandages again. What remained hidden under all that gauze and tape…

According to Garrett, it had been a lucky shot. Lucky in the fact the shooter had hit Declan at all. But also lucky the bullet had struck at the angle it had. If Declan’s head had been turned even an inch one way or the other, they might be looking at a completely different scenario.

How would he react when he found out what had happened to him? What had had to be done to him? She wiped away another unwanted tear tracking down her cheek. He was going to be devastated.

Hope was devastated for him. When she’d found out…

She pulled in her trembling lips. She hadn’t been told much about the extent of his injuries before she’d actually gotten to the hospital—his parents had wanted it that way to start with—only that his condition had been serious. The unknown had haunted Hope.

Security had met her, Destiny, and Haven at the hospital entrance and escorted them to a private wing of the hospital. The pall of grief that had met them when they had entered the team’s private waiting room had mirrored the somber, semi-glazed eyes staring at them. Haven had wasted no time taking a haggard Cal waiting for them at the door into her arms.

A quiet Solace had sat by herself on one of the low couches with her head down and one leg crossed over the other—the top leg shaking. She’d glanced up and met Hope’s gaze. What she’d seen in the normally unflappable woman’s red-rimmed depths had scared her to death.

"Where’s…" That one word from Garrett sent her gaze toward him. Pale and tense, he’d sat up straight from his corner chair and craned his neck behind her and Haven. A heartbeat later, relief filled his face before he’d bounded from his place and rushed past Hope.

"Garrett, what…" Destiny’s words had been cut off as he’d picked her up and held her tight to his chest. Hope had met her friend’s wide gaze past his head before she’d relaxed into his hold and closed her eyes. Her arms had gone around his shaking shoulders—nodding and rubbing over his back as he spoke words too quiet for Hope to hear.

He’d finally gently placed her back on her feet, murmuring, “I’m sorry. I needed…” He’d stared down at Destiny in the circle of his arms before taking several long, shuddering breaths. “I just needed.” Without another word, he’d stepped away from her and left the room.

Hope had wanted to ask what he’d said, but Destiny had shut down any questions with a slight shake of her head. Whatever it had been, it had left her friend shaken as she’d pulled in her trembling lips.

“I pushed that damned Huey as hard as I could.” Cal’s gruffly spoken words had pulled everyone’s attention to where he sat with Haven secured in his lap. His gaze had gone to all of them, but finally rested on Hope’s—their depths full of sorrow—as Haven had run a hand down his cheek. “But it wasn’t enough.”

“The damage had already been done,” Solace had said reaching over to touch his arm. "So, it’s not on you. It’s not.”

“She’s right.” A tense, stoic-faced Mr. Sheppard had entered the room from a different door. She’d known Haven’s father most of her life, and except for those horrible months before and after he’d lost Haven’s mom, she’d never seen the man so anguished. “This is on me.”

He’d held up a hand to halt the arguments rising up from Cal and Solace. “I trusted my contact and the intel I’d received. We…" His jaw had tightened. "I knew something wasn’t right once we got there but I sent him in.” His gaze had gone toward Solace. “I sent you." He took in a deep breath and held it—his tortured gaze on the woman whose own expression had gone soft—before slowly letting it out. Then he quickly looked away, his attention going to the rest of the room. "I put both of them at risk. And now Declan is living with the consequences.”

"You might think you could’ve stopped us going in, Duncan," Solace spoke up into the ensuing silence, then cleared her throat. "Um, Colonel." Mr. Sheppard’s gaze had gone back to Solace. "But we knew the danger. Declan would tell you the same thing. Neither one of us would leave a child in danger."

Hope hadn’t asked who the child might be. It wouldn’t have mattered. Like Solace, knowing Declan, he wouldn’t have knowingly left anyone in danger. He was just that kind of man.

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