Page 8 of Pax

“I’ll think about it.” She went back to picking at her food and then looked at Pax. “Why are you here, Pax? You don’t owe me anything. This isn’t your fault.”

“I know,” he said. “I’m here because I care about you. No, that’s not right.”

“It’s not,” she whispered, looking hurt.

“No, it’s not. Yes, I care about you, but I careforyou, Deanna. More than I thought. I always have, and I’ve always seemed to miss my chance with you. First in high school, then afterward, always missing one another when I was home. When I saw you again a few weeks ago, I thought it was fate.”

Deanna said nothing, just staring at the man she’d had a crush on for almost twenty years. Carrying a torch for a boy that you knew a lifetime ago seemed unhealthy, yet she could never shake it. Thoughts were always on Paxton Pechkin.

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” she said in a barely audible voice.

“That’s my fault. I didn’t tell you.”

“Pax, this isn’t the time. Look at me. I’m a monster.”

“No,” he said, gripping her hand. “No, you’re not. You’re still the beautiful woman I’ve known forever. You’re still smart, and wise, and kind, and fucking beautiful. Let me help you, Deanna. Let me help you to feel good about you so that you’ll feel good about us.”

“Why? I mean, why me? Pax, you could be on the cover of an adventurer magazine, or fashion or fitness, or something! You can’t tell me that you haven’t been with dozens of women.”

“First of all, I haven’t been with dozens of women. I’m not quite that much of a man-whore,” he smirked. “I’m not an angel. Of course, I’ve had partners. Brief, unimportant partners that always knew I wasn’t interested in more.”

“They must have wanted more. I would have.” She stunned herself with the statement, covering her mouth. “I meant, I mean…”

“I know,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I wanted more, too. But with the right woman, Deanna. Not just any woman that only wanted a night with a Navy SEAL.”

“D-did that happen a lot?”

“Not a lot. But it did happen. I don’t want to talk about that. I’m sure you’ve had a lot of boyfriends.”

“Two.”

“Two?”

“Yes. Two,” she repeated.

“Deanna, honey, I don’t want to call you a liar, but how does a woman who looks like you only have two boyfriends her entire adult life?”

“I was busy,” she said, shrugging. “I mean, first it was school and then working for Mom and Dad. That entire time my stupid cousin, Josh, was my bodyguard and chased off every damn guy who ever asked me out.”

“Remind me to send chocolates to Josh,” he grinned.

“It’s not funny, Pax. I was alone, a lot. When I finally had a steady boyfriend, he thought I was weird and too traditional.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to have sex right away, and then when we did, he wanted me to move in with him immediately. I said no. He got angry over time and left.”

“He wasn’t the man for you.”

Deanna stared at him, feeling the blush creep over her body.

“The second boyfriend, I thought we would be serious. I mean, I thought he might be the one.”

“What happened?” She didn’t say anything at first, just pushing her food around on the plate. “Deanna?”

“You happened.”

“Me?”

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