Page 61 of I Knew You Were Trouble

I’ve known this about my parents my whole life – that Mum longs to travel and Dad is a homebody whose idea of a ‘grand adventure’ is a train ride into Birmingham to shop at the big M&S. I keep prodding him to take Mum on a proper holiday – somewhere romantic in Europe – but he always counters with, ‘Oh, Mum and I don’t go in for fancy holidays, love.’

If he everlistened, he’d realise that Mum would very much go in for fancy holidays.

‘Kate?’

‘Sorry, Mum, I got distracted.’

‘That’s all right, love. So, are you off on a mini break then? Oh, is Margot with you? Say hello from me.’

‘Margot’s not here. I’m going by myself.’

‘Oh,’ Mum exclaims. She’ll wonder why, so I’ll tell her before she asks.

‘It’s, um… a meeting. I’ve got a meeting with an artist.’ Not a complete lie.

‘That sounds interesting,’ says Mum, ‘but you’re not working too much, are you? I mean, having a meeting over the weekendandabroad…’

‘I promise I’m not working too much. In fact, Mina’s said she’s giving me some time off soon. Two weeks.’

‘Oh, that’s good. Will you be going somewhere nice? And I’m assuming it’s with Jon?’

The way Mum’s voice sours when she says Jon’s name speaks volumes. Well, she’s going to love what I’m about to say next.

‘Actually, that’s why I called, Mum – I’ve got news. Jon and I… we’re no longer engaged.’

There’s shocked silence on the other end of the call and I justknowMum is trying to find a diplomatic way to respond. She and Dad only met Jon once and it was a rather tense meal during which my parents exchanged a dozen loaded looks, interspersed with lengthy silences. Jon attempted to charm them but, in retrospect, my parents saw right through him.

And of course, Margot has shared what my parents truly think of Jon – that he’s pretentious, smug, and superior and they have no idea what I see in him.Saw, I remind myself yet again.

‘Oh, well, that’s a pity,’ Mum says eventually.

‘Mum, it’s okay. I know you didn’t like him.’

‘I wouldn’t say we didn’tlikehim, Kate – just that we didn’t think he was good for you.’

If she only knew.

‘Yes, well, it turns out you were right.’

‘Well – and I’m sure your father would agree – I’m just happy you realised before you married him.’

‘Me too, Mum.’

‘Oh, Kate,’ she says, suddenly emotional. ‘We love you so much and we’re so proud of you. We only want you to be happy, love.’

‘Thanks, Mum.’

What goes unsaid is that my parents believe I can only truly be happy if I am loved up – with someone deserving, of course.

‘I should go. We’re about to board,’ I say. ‘Will you break the news to Dad for me?’ I ask, even though I already know she will – and happily.

‘Of course. And have a brilliant time in Italy.’

‘I will. I’ll bring back something Italian for you.’

‘As long as he’s handsome and has a full head of hair,’ she quips, and it takes me a moment to grasp what she’s said.

‘Mum,’ I say with a laugh. ‘I saidsomethingItalian – notanItalian.’

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