Page 48 of I Knew You Were Trouble

‘He sounds like an utter moron,’ says Ursula. She momentarily presses her fingers to her lips. ‘I am so sorry – that was incredibly unprofessional of me.’

‘Please, no apologies,’ says Kate. ‘Heisa moron. A conniving, manipulative, arse-faced moron. Anyway,’ she says with a quick shake of her head, ‘I doubt it will be difficult to choose a worthy cause –ifwe can find a way to make this work.’

‘Actually,’ I say, realising something, ‘I should have thought of this before, but there’s a program called Creative Futures Fund here in London that my husband donates to. It’s for underprivileged children.’

‘Ooh, that might be perfect,’ says Kate, her eyes lighting up.

‘I’ll send you the information,’ I reply. ‘But now the hard part: how do we get Dunn to agree to the donation?’

‘That’swhere we need the most help,’ Kate replies. ‘I mean, if Ihaveto see Jon, I will but…’ She appears apprehensive, shuddering as if a goose walked over her grave.

‘Actually, I don’t think that will be necessary,’ says Ursula.

‘Oh good. Wait, you’re not thinking about putting Adriana in the firing line, are you? I’d like to keep her out of this as much as possible,’ Kate says earnestly. ‘We’ve been messaging and she’s had a wobble since I was in Amsterdam. This is hitting her quite hard.’

‘No, no, I quite agree that we should keep you both out of harm’s way,’ says Ursula. ‘AndMs Rossi – though what to do about her is a whole other kettle of fish.’

‘What did you have in mind, Ursula?’ I ask, steering her back to the most pressing matter.

‘Actually, Poppy, it would involveyou.’

‘Me?’

‘Yes. What I propose is asting.’ There’s a mischievous look in Ursula’s eye that’s starting to make me nervous.

‘A sting?’ I ask.

‘Mm-hmm. We honeypot Dunn with you as the bait.’

‘Wait,what?’

‘Yes, we set up a happenstance meeting, you get close to the mark, draw him in, then convince him to donate a sizeable sum to charity.’

‘That’s a bit of a leap, don’t you think?’ I ask. ‘What makes you think Ican convince him ofthat?’

‘Years of matchmaking experience,’ she replies. ‘I canguaranteehe’s the type of man who will gladly flash his wealth about to impress a prospective love interest. I’ve encountered Dunn’s type before many times –toomany.’

She may have, but I remain unconvinced.

‘Are you su?—’

‘Then,’ she says, talking over me, ‘once the donation is finalised, we’ll gather the others, including Ms Rossi, and reveal that we’re onto him.’

‘And that his donation has gone to arts’ education,’ Kate adds with a satisfied smile.

‘Precisely,’ Ursula replies.

A dozen thoughts fly through my mind at once, including that Ursula’s description of this caper is so well-versed, she must have done this sort of thing before. But the stand-out detail is that she wants to use me as bait to hook a three-timing, lying bastard.

She wants me to become fiancée number four!

‘Uh…’ I murmur. I look to Marie, helpless, but she seems as bewildered as I am.

‘It all sounds brilliant, Ursula,’ Kate gushes. ‘Just likeOcean’s 8,’ she adds, a reference that baffles me further. We’re not robbing the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We’re trying to find a commensurate punishment for a wannabe polygamist!

‘Before we wander too far down that path,’ I say calmly, finding my voice, ‘I’m not sure this is a good idea.’

Kate and Ursula speak at once, their voices blending, but their meaning clear. They are both fully on board with this bonkers plan.

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