Page 110 of I Knew You Were Trouble

It’s a sobering thought and we’re quiet for a moment, even Margot. Then Lucia raises her glass.

‘To us, Jonny’s prey. May we make his life a complete and utter misery.Salute.’

‘Salute,’ we chorus.

Lucia takes a generous sip and almost spits it out. She covers her mouth as she splutters and coughs. ‘That’s really strong,’ she manages in between coughs.

I pat her on the back as Adriana jumps out of her chair, returning to the table with a glass of water.

‘Sorry, that’s my fault,’ she says, looking at Lucia apologetically. ‘I was nervous about meeting you and I…’

Lucia raises a hand, attempting a smile through the spluttering. ‘It’s okay.’

Eventually her coughing subsides and she takes a long drink of water. Adriana sits heavily in her chair, shaking her head at herself. ‘I really am sorry.’

Lucia reaches across the table. Adriana hesitates for a second, then lets Lucia take her hand.

‘I was nervous too,’ says Lucia.

‘You were?’ we all say at once. Adriana, Margot, and I exchange amused glances.

‘Luv, you could have been astarif you’d stuck with the theatre,’ says Margot. ‘You swanned in here like Meryl Streep inThe Devil Wears Prada.’

Lucia laughs. ‘I don’t know about that – it was bravado more than anything. Must be how I’m coping – being pissed off and pretending everything’s okay.’

‘“Pissed Off and Pretending” sounds like the title of a self-help book,’ Margot jokes, sending sniggers around the table.

‘So…’ says Lucia, sitting up taller. ‘Shall we place bets on who Jonny contacts first?’

‘Oh,’ I say, ‘you’re right. He’s bound to contact at least one of us.’

‘Or both,’ says Margot. ‘Up his chances of getting a shag this weekend.’

‘Margot!’ I chide.

‘What?’ She seems genuinely baffled by why that might be inappropriate.

‘Perhaps consider your audience,’ I reply, casting my eyes between Lucia, who’s smiling sardonically, and Adriana, who has gone pale.

‘Sorry,’ Margot says contritely.

My phone chimes, followed almost instantly by Adriana’s. We pick them up at the same time and Lucia leans close to read over my shoulder:

Hello darling. My work commitments have changed last minute and I’d love to take you out tonight. Shall I hop on a plane?

‘Stronzo!’ Lucia declares. ‘What does yours say?’ she asks Adriana.

Adriana reads out the exact same message Jon sent to me. He must have copied and pasted it, thestronzo.

‘I like how he doesn’t even ask if you’re free,’ says Margot. ‘He just expects you to drop everything and run into his arms. Arsehole.’

She’s not wrong. And hearing from Jon, especially under these heightened circumstances, only emphasises the vast chasm between him – snake, turd, arsehole – and Willem.

I wonder where he is. I wonderhowhe is. God, I feel like a proper shit having said those things.

‘Hey,’ Adriana says, dragging me from my bout of self-reproach. ‘What if we both reply yes?’

Lucia starts laughing. ‘Oh, that would bebrilliant. Talk about painting himself into a corner.’

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