Page 100 of I Knew You Were Trouble

‘Oh my god, Kate! Tell me everything!’

I knew this was coming, of course. Since I lost my virginity, Margot has insisted on detailed accounts of my sexual encounters. Except when it came to Jon, that is. When I first started seeing him and Margot asked how he was in bed, she concluded that I was too young to settle for vanilla sex. We had a row over that, but in hindsight she was right.

‘I will,’ I say, dropping my voice. ‘But not right this minute.’

‘Okay, you’re off the hook – for now, but I’m holding you to that.’

‘I promise,’ I say, even though I’ve barely grasped this situation myself.

‘Wait, I’ve just had a brilliant idea,’ says Margot.

Uh-oh. Margot’s ‘brilliant ideas’ are either absurd or destined to get me into trouble – sometimes both.

‘What if I popped over to Amsterdam for the remainder of the weekend?’ she asks.

I laugh. ‘Right, sure. The three of us can order pizza, then play Uno. I’m sure Willem would love that.’

‘I’m not joking.’

‘Margot,no,’ I say, panicking. How can she be serious?

‘Not to cock-block you, you muppet. Just the opposite. I’ll take Adriana out for the night – give you two some privacy.’

‘That’s…’ I want to say ‘bonkers’, but is it? Sure, Willem and I can go out for dinner, but we’ll want to return to his place at some point in the evening to… well, have sex. A lot of sex. Actually, I’d be happy to skip dinner and just have sex. All. The. Sex.

Who am I right now?

‘That’s perfect, Margot, thank you,’ she says sarcastically.

‘That’s perfect, Margot, thank you,’ I parrot sheepishly. ‘Hang on – what if Adriana already has plans?’ It’s a reasonable assumption; it’s Saturday and she seems to have an active social life.

‘She doesn’t,’ Margot replies, sounding certain.

‘And you know this how?’

‘Uh… we’ve been messaging.’

There have been so many twists and turns in this conversation, I may develop whiplash. Margot should come with a seatbelt.

‘You’ve been messaging with my fiancé’s fiancée?’

‘Well, yes. She’s my silver lining.’

‘Your silver lining?’ I ask, confused.

‘Mm-hmm. Jon is a massive shit of a human being,butif he hadn’t been such a massive shit of a human being, we wouldn’t have met Willem and Adriana. Now you get to have rebound sex with a hot guy –yoursilver lining – and I’ve… well, I’ve made a new friend.’

‘Ilovehow you’ve spun this to be about you,’ I say sarcastically.

‘Situational narcissism – practically my only flaw,’ she says immodestly. She has others, of course – like everyone – but I let it go.

‘Well, if you want to get yourself to Amsterdamandpay for accommodationandtake Adriana out for the evening, then I won’t stop you.’

She laughs heartily. ‘As if you could.’

Resigned and somewhat frustrated, I lift my eyes to the ceiling. ‘But can you hold off a bit?’ I ask with a sigh. ‘Willem hasn’t talked to Adriana yet. I don’t wantyoubreaking the news that we’re showing up unexpectedly.’

‘Course not.’

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