Page 81 of Someone Like You

‘The cream – it’s clotted cream, not heavy cream.’

‘Now you’re being obtuse on purpose,’ I retort.

He grins at me, then tips an imaginary hat.

‘So, who won the great scone showdown?’

‘Who do you think? Aunt CiCi, of course. She always wins –and when it comes to scones, which she is famous for, she’s a Devon girl all the way.’

‘Which is?’

‘Cream first.’

‘Ahh, fascinating.’

He grins. ‘No, it isn’t but I’m surprised you’ve known her all these years and it’s never come up.’

‘Now that you mention it,’ I say, recalling the many times I’ve had scones at CiCi’s, ‘I just follow what she does – and yeah, she’s a cream-then-jam woman all the way.’

‘Is this the sort of sparkling conversation I can expect from your family?’ he teases.

‘Hey –youbrought up scones.’

‘Fair. So, what topics should I brush up on then?’

‘Probably easier if I list the topics to avoid,’ I reply.

‘All right.’

‘Politics,’ I say, counting off on my fingers.

‘Well, obvs. Wait, just in case, which way do they lean?’

‘Left. Only… Aunt Christinestillhasn’t come to terms with Washington legalising marijuana, which was in2012. She calls it a “gateway” drug. Donotlet her get started on that.’

‘Noted. Anything else?’

‘We are a Mariner’s family – that’s Seattle’s baseball team. My cousin’s fiancé is from Kansas, but he follows the Oakland As – that’s a Californian team – and it’s ahugedeal to my Uncle Marvin.’

‘Marvin?’

‘Yeah, like Marvin the Martian,’ I reply. It may be an unusual name to some, but I’ve had an Uncle Marvin my whole life, so it’s not weird to me. ‘Anyway, if either Uncle Marv or Brian evenmentionbaseball, get out of there immediately. I mean it. Clear. The. Room.’

‘But you said the bickering was all in good fun.’

‘Baseball talk isn’t bickering. It’s war.’

‘I feel like I should be writing this down,’ he says with a pretend frown.

‘Nah,’ I reply. ‘Now Monica, the bride, is a total sweetheart. She’s like a little sister to me and Issy – she’s eight years younger than me – and Issy and I babysat her all the time. Super cute kid, always singing and dancing. Issy and I would play our favourite songs, like “Hips Don’t Lie” and “Crazy in Love”, and the three of us would make up these little dance routines.’

‘What does Monica do now?’ he asks.

‘She teaches dance.’

‘Wow. Look at you, helping mould young minds.’

‘I take zero credit. That was all Monica. Even at a young age, she was a good dancer – way better than me or Issy.’

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