Page 74 of Someone Like You

I’ve gotta be honest – not loving how cynical I sound right now.

Freya mustn’t either and her shoulders slump, her expression becoming even more distressed.

‘I’m not convincing you, am I?’

‘No.’

‘That’s okay. I’m not convincing me either. Fuck, Frey, what have I done?’

She rubs my arm soothingly, which is about as effective trying to snuff out a raging house fire by spitting on it.

‘Hey, Mom, I have some news.’ I’m ensconced in my Lounge Pug, needing every ounce of its comforting properties now that I’ve committed to spending twenty-four-seven with Raff over the holidays.

‘Good or bad?’ she asks. ‘I can’t tell from your tone.’

‘Uh, good news. At least I hope it is. Imayhave invited Raff to come home with me for Christmas.’

She chuckles. ‘Mayhave? Orhave?’

‘Have.’ I am 99 per cent sure it will be fine, but in the time it takes for Mom to respond, my stomach clenches with doubt.

‘Oh, hun, what a treat for us! I’ll start thinking about something to put under the tree for him. Oh, and I can have Rosemary make him a stocking.’ Rosemary is one of the night nurses on the ward who does crafts at the nurses’ station when it’s quiet.

I chuckle – trust my mom to start planning Christmas presents for Raff the second I give her the news.

‘Are you sure, Mom? It’s not too much of an imposition?’

‘Hardly! We love Raff. He’s welcome any time.’

‘I know I should have checked with you first but Devin surprised CiCi with a trip to Lapland, meaning Raff would be on his own, and you should have seen him, Mom – like a lost little boy. I couldn’t bear the thought of him all alone on Christmas.’

‘You did the right thing, Gaby. You always do.’

If I did the right thing then why am I seriously questioning my choices?I think.

What Isayis, ‘Thanks, Mom.’

‘Will he be on the same flight as you?’

‘Unsure. He’s looking at flights tonight, but I’ll let you know.’

‘Okay, hun. And don’t worry, I’ll smooth things over with Chrissy – about the seating arrangements for the wedding.’

‘Oh, right. Yeah, she’s not going to like me very much.’

‘Chrissy doesn’t like anyone right now – you’re in good company.’

I laugh.

‘Listen, I’ve gotta go but talk soon, huh?’

‘Bye, Mom. Love you.’

She says she loves me too, and we end the call.

‘It’s only a week, Gaby. You’re entirely capable of spending seven days under the same roof with Raff, without doing or saying anything to let on how you feel.’

Somehow, saying this out loud is not convincing – shocker. No wonder Freya was compelled to talk me out of it. She even sent a text after the party:

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