Page 4 of Someone Like You

‘I take your point, but are you allowed to do that?’ CiCi asks. ‘Match one of your closest friends?’

She edges closer, her eyes on Freya as she fixes the messy paper towels. Iknewshe wouldn’t be able to let that slide. Her kitchen looks like something out ofHouse and Garden– evenafterhosting a celebratory gathering for Raff. Fitting, I guess, for one of the UK’s most successful bakers.

‘Well, no,’ Freya responds, ‘but I could refer him to a colleague. Do you remember Poppy?’ she asks me.

‘Oh, yeah, the Aussie gal. I like her – she’s cool.’

‘I can ask her,’ Freya says. ‘It’ll depend on her case load, of course. We’d also have to get approval from Saskia and Paloma,’ she says, referring to the agency’s founders and her bosses, ‘but don’t forget I get a gratis referral each year.’

Oh, I haven’t forgotten. I’ve known about Freya’s annual freebie since she left the marketing firm where we met and became a matchmaker. It was one of the first things she told me about her new job because she wanted to matchme. I declined so vehemently – I’m strictly a casual dater – that she never offered again.

‘What would that entail, Freya?’ CiCi asks. ‘Do you just set Raff up on lots of dates and see how it goes?’

‘Er, not exactly…’

While Freya always maintains client confidentiality by anonymising identifying details, she’ll sometimes spill about her juicier cases to me and Raff. It’s been fun to get a peek into such a fascinating field. There’s also a lot of cross-over between matchmaking and marketing: primarily, gaining an understanding of what people want – even if it’s different to what theysaythey want – then giving it to them.

If I hadanyinterest in HEAs, as Freya calls them – or ‘happily ever afters’ to us mere mortals – then I’d leap at the chance to work for the Ever After Agency. It sounds like a blast.

But I am not what you would call ‘a romantic’.

CiCi prompts Freya to expound upon ‘not exactly’ and Freya explains how matching Raff might work – essentially, building a comprehensive profile of Raff, then vetting and ranking potentials matches, andthenthe part where he’s set up on dates.

‘The first two steps are the most time-consuming,’ she says, ‘but the more thorough we are in the planning stages, the more chance of success.’

‘Chance of success for what?’ asks Raff, who has somehow snuck up on us.

Our open-mouthed heads turn in sync as if we’re those clowns at the carnival – the ones with the pivoting heads you throw balls into.

‘We were…’ I start.

‘Oh, nothing,’ says CiCi, waving him off.

‘Finding you a match,’ Freya replies.

‘Oh, for god’s sake,’ I mutter. Sometimes I wish she had at least ascrapof guile.

Raff splutters out a nervous laugh. ‘Uh, no thanks,’ he says, looking at me then CiCi to share the joke.

Only it’s not a joke, which becomes apparent almost immediately and the smile falls from his face. He clears his throat. ‘Seriously?’ he asks Freya. ‘That’s what you were talking about? As if I’m some sort of desperate charity case?’

‘No!’ we all chorus.

‘And you know my clients are anything but desperate charity cases,’ Freya asserts, but Raff seems unconvinced.

‘What’s all this then?’ asks Devin, entering the kitchen. He sets a decimated bowl of chips on the counter, and I fish for crumbs – there’s just enough for a mouthful.

‘Apparently, they’re in here conspiring to find me a girlfriend,’ Raff replies, his hands placed indignantly on his hips. He looks ridiculous.

‘Okay, drama queen,’ I say, my hand over my mouth. I swallow the chips. ‘We’re notconspiring.’

‘We only want you to be happy, love,’ CiCi chimes in.

‘And to be with someone who deserves you,’ says Freya. ‘Because you’rewonderful, Raff.’

‘Yes, you’re the thinking person’s crumpet,’ adds Devin with a devilish grin.

This portrayal of Raff started doing the rounds on social media the week after episode one aired. The show’s producers leapt on it – and who could blame them? It’s ageniusmarketing angle. And so, Raff, with his strawberry-blond curls, wide-set green eyes, and crooked smile, has become something of a heartthrob across Britain, particularly amongst straight women and gay men.

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