Page 132 of Someone Like You

‘And to two very special people,’ says Monica, ‘one I’ve known my whole life and one I’ve only just met but already love… To my cousin, Gaby – we absolutely wouldnotbe here today if you hadn’t taken over and bossed us around and made this wedding happen. You really gave Seattle weather the finger and I love you to death.’

I grin and blow her a kiss as laughter fills the room.

‘And to Raff – in just a few days, you’ve become part of our family. You are such a great guy and, seriously, this cake isbeyond. It’s absolutely gorgeous, and we know it’s going to be delicious. We’re bothsograteful.’

I look up at Raff and our eyes meet, both of us swelling with pride, but also basking in the intense love and gratitude coming our way.

But Monica isn’t finished.

‘We aresoglad Gaby brought you into our lives,’ she says. ‘And if everyone could please raise your glasses… To Gaby and Raff.’

‘To Gaby and Raff,’ forty-five people say together.

Then the room shifts off-kilter and I suddenly feel queasy.

Why did she phrase it like that? That I ‘brought Raff into their lives’. That makes it sound like I brought my boyfriend home to meet the family.

It was fine when she and Nicole were teasing me earlier because that was merely joking around, but she made it a toast. In front ofeveryone.

But didn’t I start drinking the Kool-Aid too?

Standing in Monica’s en suite, hadn’t I looked myself in the eye and, bolstered by a smoky eye and assurances that everyone sees it – something between me and Raff – hadn’t I told myself I would…

I would what?

What had Iactuallythought I would do?

Confess my love to him over the Dungeness crab cakes? Seduce him with my mediocre dance moves? There are professional dancers at this wedding!

Or did I think I’d slip under the comforter later tonight and wait for him to finish brushing his teeth?

Surprise, Raff! I’m naked, hopped up on wedding cake, and horny!

I am such a frigging idiot.

Well-wishers crowd around, patting me on the back and offering to buy me a drink – ‘hilarious’ when it’s an open bar. I smile and say, ‘Thank you,’ a dozen times, edging towards the living room door so I can make my escape.

When I make it to the doorway, I take several deep, gulping breaths, then turn and scan the cavernous room. The music has resumed, with half the guests back to boogeying, and the other half spooning cake into their mouths, moaning in ecstasy and wearing oh-my-god-how-good-is-this-cake? expressions.

I spy Raff and – wouldn’t you know it –Heidihas taken hold of his hand and is dragging him towards the centre of the dancefloor. I’d bet my left arm he still doesn’t get that she’s into him.

He starts off laughing, protesting weakly, but when she tries to place his hand on her hip, his countenance shifts dramatically. I can tell that he gets it now. He gets it, and Heidi is making him uncomfortable.

He steps away, his polite way of telling her to get lost, but she ignores his protests, tugging on his hand and gyrating like a classically trained exotic dancer.

Raff stands stock still, his eyes darting in all directions, panicked.He’s looking for an out, I think, which is confirmed when his gaze meets mine and he mouths, ‘Help.’

Help is on the way, Rafferty!

I charge back onto the dancefloor, mumbling apologies for jostling other guests as I go, and march right up to Raff.

‘Hi, babe! Sorry to leave you all alone while I was in the bathroom,’ I say loudly for Heidi’s benefit.

She finally stops dancing, but did she just ‘hey!’ me, as if she has some claim on Raff? Wasn’t she there for the part where my cousin made a speech and practically welcomed him to the family?

Well, screw you, Heidi!

I reach up and lock my hands behind Raff’s neck and pull his head towards me, landing the kind of kiss that can only be described as a keep-your-hands-off-my-man kiss.

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