Page 31 of The One That I Want

‘Well, yes, it does,’ I reply, calming slightly. Even just beingheardoffers some relief.

‘That’s completely understandable.’

‘It is?’

‘Absolutely. You’re an accomplished professional, you excel at what you do, and you’ve been thrust into a situation where you’ll be putting your private life out there for everyone to see. Even with the anonymity, it’s still, at its core,you.’

In less than a minute, Poppy has pinpointed the root of my concern, and my heart rate begins to slow.

‘Listen, why don’t we discuss exactly what’s troubling you and see where you land?’ she offers.

‘Are you sure? I know I’ve phoned you after hours.’

‘That’s what I’m here for,’ she replies, though I seriously doubt Anjali engaged Poppy the Matchmaker to be my counsellor. Still, she’s offered a friendly ear, so why not?

‘And there’s still time to back out if you’re not 100 per cent comfortable with it,’ she adds.

I don’t tell her that when Anjali gets an idea in her head, she becomes single-minded. If I tell Anjali I’m not up to completing this assignment, she’d just find a way to convince me. But I may as well give Poppy the entire picture, which pre-dates Anjali’s ‘fairy godmothering’.

‘I think it goes back to the day the vertical launched, when I started experiencing this intense rushing sound inside my head, like waves crashing on the shore. It was the first time I’d experienced anything like that.’

I pause, waiting for Poppy to interject, but she doesn’t.

‘Anyway, I let it slip to Anjali and she assured me it was part and parcel of launching such an enormous initiative – that she’s experienced the same thing each time she’s approached a significant milestone. She said it would go away and she was right. By the end of the day, when I knew the launch was a success, no waves crashing in my head.’

‘That’s good to hear. And Anjaliisright: it’s perfectly normal to have a physical reaction to the stress and excitement of launchingNouveau Life.’

‘Right, but it came back – the noise.’

‘And when was tha— Oh, when you got this assignment.’

‘Exactly. And I know you said it might be fun and I’d love to believe that, but right now, trepidation is trumping gleeful anticipation,’ I say, layering sarcasm over ‘gleeful’.

I hear her murmur ‘thanks’ to someone and then she comes back to me. ‘So, what was the question Tiggy asked you, the one that’s got you out of sorts?’

‘Well, we were talking about Harrison…’ I pause, not sure how to explain, and Poppy leaps in with a follow-up question.

‘Oh, is he not a good fit?’

‘No, it’s not that. He’s almosttooperfect. We have a lot in common, we want the same things out of life, I like how he expressed his desire to be in a relationship… That’s why Tiggy’s question threw me. She asked what would happen if I fell madly in love with him. I mean, I probably won’t because?—’

I stop myself before I lie to Poppy – and to myself. There is every chance Icouldfall in love with the handsome man who’s passionate about teaching, wants to be a father, and (probably) has a very sexy voice.

‘What I mean to say is… if I did fall in love with Harrison – or any of my dates – how do I complete this assignment? How do I keep dating half of London when my heart belongs to one person?’

Poppy is so quiet, I wonder if the call has dropped.

‘That’s an excellent question,’ she says eventually.

It’s hardly the answer I was hoping for, so I say the one thing I’ve been thinking about – and dreading – ever since I left the bar. ‘Poppy, what do you think of me dating someunsuitablemen?’ She doesn’t reply right away, and this time the silence is deafening. ‘Poppy?’

‘Sorry, I’m just thinking…’

‘You see, that way I would have enough material for a series of articles before meeting… well…’

‘Someone who might be your match,’ she says, finishing my thought.

‘Exactly. I know what you said before about why you had me complete the questionnaire – and really, with Harrison, you seem to have done a stellar job – but I feel that sticking with the original premise of the series… well, it puts me in a precarious situation.’

---