Page 133 of The One That I Want

‘Right, yes…’ He appears to be gathering his thoughts, which is fair considering I’ve just relocated us and probably interrupted his thought process. ‘Well, first off, it was… it was beautifully written.’

We exchange brief smiles.

‘It was also honest andreal… But, Greta, there’s an aspect I’m not comfortable with – your apology.’

‘Oh.’ I drop my gaze, fixating on the granite tiles, how perfectly they’re laid. I try to gulp in air and swallow at the same time, which makes me choke on my saliva and induces a violent coughing fit. Ewan stands to reach around and pat me on the back – just like he did when I nearly choked on a cronut at The Daily Grind.

‘All right?’ he asks when the coughing abates.

I nod my reply, still unable to look at him. If he’s not comfortable with my apology, then I have my answer. We’re over before we even began.

I also need to find a new coffee shop.

‘Can I explain?’ he asks, sitting again.

‘Of course.’

‘The reason your apology doesn’t sit well with me is that this – this situation, our misunderstanding – wasn’t just your fault. I share in the blame – in fact, I own most of it.’

‘What?’ I meet his eye and he’s watching me intently.

Only now do I notice that his (beautiful) blue eyes are rimmed with red and showing the signs of a sleepless night. Mine must look similar, but I haven’t looked in a mirror this morning to know for sure.

He inches towards me and picks up my hand, running his thumb along the back. ‘I should have told you how I felt, rather than playing things so close to my chest.’

The dense mass of fear and sadness lodged in the pit of my stomach starts to dissolve, replaced with something warmer and lighter – hope, perhaps.

Is he saying what I think he’s saying?

‘Especially after that first night,’ he continues, ‘when we ran into each other at Dalla Terra. I was already smitten by then, just from your visits to The Daily Grind, and I should have just…toldyou.’

‘Smitten?’ I ask, teasing him.

‘A smitten kitten,’ he says with a smile. Serious again, he squeezes my hand. ‘You know, coming here, I had this whole speech planned – well, it was kind of all over the place – much like what I’m saying now. The poor Uber driver – not to mentionRemy…’

‘Remy?’

‘I tried it out on him first. He was really cross with me for walking out on you yesterday.’

‘He’s wise beyond his dog years,’ I say, making a feeble joke.

Ewan smiles gently, then looks deep into my eyes.

‘Greta, I’m really sorry. It’s been over ten years since I dated someone new and I clearly have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.’

‘That’s not tr?—’

‘Itistrue. Beyond being good company, I keep mess?—’

‘Exceptionallygood company,’ I interject.

‘That’s kind. You’re kind.’

‘And selfish and vain,’ I remind him, quoting my letter.

‘Everyone is at least a little bit selfish. No one is purely altruistic. Besides, I like that side of you.’

‘Selfishness?’

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