Page 88 of Shout Out To My Ex

I push myself up onto my elbows and scan my open wardrobe again. I may not like baseball caps, but I have one tucked away somewhere; it’s from a charity event I volunteered at a couple of years ago. To go with the cap, which I find in a bag of clothes I’ve yet to drop off at Oxfam, I choose dark glasses, jeans, and a T-shirt – about as far from ‘Elle Bliss’ as I can get.

It’s only when I’m fully dressed and look in the mirror that I discover I’m dressed as Leo. I roll my eyes at myself. But I’m now incredibly late for work and don’t have time to change. On the way out of the flat, I grab a (very brown) banana from the otherwise empty fruit bowl and eat it on the walk to work.

It’s obvious when I arrive that the team has been watching both the clock and the door.

‘Oh, hi, Elle,’ says Gaz, pretending theydidn’tjust flap their hand at the others to ‘subtly’ announce my arrival.

‘Hi, everyone. Sorry I’m late but I went the long way to shake off the paps.’

Gaz feigns astonishment. ‘Really? Why would the paps be stalkingyou?’

Zara and Prue, who are doing a rubbish job of acting normal, peer at me with obvious curiosity.

‘Well, they weren’t – at least not today,’ I say, waving Gaz off.

I decided on the way over here that the only way to move on from being tabloid fodder is to call it out, clear the air, then get back to work.

‘Elle, I…’ Zara starts, stepping closer. She shakes her head. ‘Never mind.’

Icouldnever mind and do the very British thing of pretending everything’s fine and never speaking of it again.

‘No, go ahead, please,’ I say instead.

‘It’s just, well… Are you and Lorenzo together? Isn’t he supposed to be engaged to?—’

She stops suddenly, her mouth falling open and her eyes bulging as she looks past me. In fact, all three of them are looking past me, gawking as if they’re extras in the latest Jurassic Park film and have just spotted a dinosaur.

I pivot slowly and there he is – of course he bloody is! – standing in the doorway, one hip cocked and grinning.

‘Good morning, y’all,’ he drawls, sounding particularly Texan today. Maybe he spent the evening watching Matthew McConaughey films. I wouldn’t be surprised if he launched into a round of ‘all right, all right, all right…’

It’s annoyingly sexy and I’m torn between sending him away and grabbing the front of his T-shirt and yanking him towards me for a kiss. I do neither, as I am rooted to the spot, mortified. There is every chance he heard what Zara just said.

Also, what the hell is hedoinghere, anyway?

It’s not like we parted on good terms yesterday afternoon – or at least, I didn’t.Iparted in frustration, confusion, and anger, with a side of ‘what the actual fuck?’

And as soon as I got home, I drowned my sorrows like any woman in my situation would: I drank cheap wine while scoffing a family-sized bag of crisps and moaning to my sister.

Not that it’s likely thereareother women in my exact situation. Surely, the universe isn’t that cruel.

There’s also the (very real) concern I might become front-page news for the second day running. It won’t take long for the tabloids to connect the dots and determine that the ‘mystery blonde’ is actually ‘Elle Bliss – ex-girlfriend’, especially when he’s currently standing in my fashion house!

And where’s Ser, the odd bod publicist, in all this? Oh god, what ifshewas the one who set us up?

‘Sorry, am I interrupting?’ Leo asks, snapping me back to the present.

‘Yes,’ I reply right as the others say, ‘No,’ in unison. Note to self: sack all traitors.

‘Actually,’ says Zara, stepping forward, ‘we were just talking about you.’

‘Oh?’ He flashes that cocky Lorenzo grin I should hate but secretly find sexy (damn him). ‘You don’t say?’

If Zaradoestell him what we were saying, I will actually sack her.

‘Um, it’s more of a “show” and not a “tell”,’ she replies cryptically. I literally have no idea what she’s talking about. ‘Come on, it’s back here,’ she says, leading the way. All right, now I’m intrigued.

Leo and I follow – I don’t so much as look at him, though his scent infuses the air between us, which is maddening. If he could stop being so flipping sexy all the time, that would be wonderful.

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