Page 69 of Shout Out To My Ex

‘Perfect. Now cross your legs,’ Tally says to me. I do. ‘And Leo, if you could drape your left arm around her, resting your hand on her chest, just above the neckline of her waistcoat…’

And breathe, Elle.

The next thirty or forty or a thousand minutes – time loses its meaning – feel like an out-of-body experience with me watching from the sidelines as Tally directs me, Leo, and the models into dozens of poses. She moves panther-like about the set, the camera almost always affixed to her eye as she translates her vision into the perfect shot.

And being this close to Leo, his hands on me, mine on him, feeling his breath on my shoulders, his hair tickling my neck – all these sensations add to the surrealness. The moment eventually comes when Tally stills, hands her camera to her assistant, and grins at us.

‘Want to see?’ she asks. Leo unfurls his arms, which were wrapped around me, and I viscerally experience the loss of him. My self-consciousness having dissolved soon after we started, all I want is for this day to continue indefinitely.

Leo lifts me off the plinth – I’ve been on and off it throughout the shoot – and we go over to where Tally is scrutinising a large screen. We stand either side of her and watch as she slowly scrolls through dozens of photographs, stopping to regard individual shots with a slight head tilt. Looking through the images, I can tell the moment I started to relax into the shoot – my jaw slackens, the fear leaves my eyes, and I adopt a serene, ethereal expression.

‘This one,’ Tally says, enlarging a thumbnail so it fills the screen. ‘Look at the light, how it’s dancing on your skin. You’re other-worldly, both of you.’

I lean in, my eyes roving the screen.

In the photograph, Leo’s arms are wrapped protectively around my torso, his chin dipped as though he’s about to kissmy shoulder. He’s looking down, his thick lashes black against the sharp outline of his pale cheeks. I, however, am looking right into the lens, my lips parted as if I am about to speak.

It’s stunning.

It also sends a slew of tingles down my spine, and I shiver.

‘Are you cold?’ Leo asks. He looks about. ‘Could we please get a robe for Elle?’ he asks the room.

The work experience girl hurries over with the one I was wearing earlier and Leo helps me into it, then pulls me to him and rubs one hand up and down my arm. I lean into his embrace, savouring the warmth of his bare torso through the fabric.

Then I realise: Leo is holding me and it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Cassie and Poppy have joined us now and Tally continues scrolling, stopping to examine certain shots. ‘These are amazing,’ Cassie says.

‘I keep coming back to this one,’ says Tally, returning to the shot she showed us before.

‘Wowser,’ Cassie whispers.

Tally grins at her. ‘Amelia will have final say, of course, but I’d bet a fair amount this will be it.’ She straightens and addresses the entire studio. ‘That’s a wrap, everyone. Great work. Thank you.’

The bustle recommences as the set is broken down, the lighting techs rip gaffer tape from the floor and coil cables, the models wander off to get changed (or clothed), and the hair and makeup team start packing up. The shoot is over, yet Leo still has an arm wrapped around me.

He may owe me an explanation, he may be engaged to Franzia, but in this moment, it feels very much like ‘Leo and Ellie’ again – as if it’s just us and not us plus six models, a dozen crew, a journalist, my sister, and the world’s most famous fashion photographer.

‘So,’ says Cassie. ‘That’s it.’

‘Yep,’ Leo replies. He drops his hand from my arm –no!– then stretches his neck from side to side. ‘I tell ya, I will never be one of those people who thinks modelling is easy,’ he says. ‘I’m going to need to visit my chiropractor after that. How’d you go?’ he asks me. ‘Besides freezing to death?’ he adds with a laugh.

‘Good, yeah,’ I reply, realising that I’ve barely said two words to him all morning.

‘Lorenzo,’ says Cassie, all business-like, ‘we still need to connect on the collab?—’

‘Totally,’ he says, interrupting her. ‘How about you have your people call my people, set something up?’

Cassie frowns, confused. ‘Oh, I…’

‘I’m kidding.’

Cassie laughs, immediately disarmed.

‘So, how does tomorrow work?’ he asks.

‘Perfect. Elle?’

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