Page 54 of Shout Out To My Ex

Start again? It reads like a catalogue.

Extremelyrude – from anyone but Nas. When I first met Nasrin, it took a while to get used to her dry humour. I wait, knowing her next message will come shortly. It does:

Have sent it to Freya.

It’s likely Freya can turn my scribbles into something I can give to an assistant magazine editor – she was a marketing director before joining the agency.

Ta.

Nas sends her typical thumbs-up emoji in reply, and I turn off my phone and look out the window, smothering a yawn with my hand. It’s been a big week. I’m looking forward to cuddles with my husband, a long hot bath, then cuddles with Saffron, our soon-to-be cat.

‘Sorry,’ says a voice, ‘but I think you’re in my seat.’

I lift my gaze and – I cannot believe this –Leois standing in the aisle next to me. I’ll need to think fast.

17

ELLE

No, no, no, no, no.Of all train carriages on all the trains…Howis this happening?

‘Oh, it’s you,’ Leo says, looking straight at Poppy. ‘Sorry, I—’ And then it must occur to him that where there’s a Poppy, there must be an Elle. The penny visibly drops as his eyes dart towards the other side of the table where Cassie and I are sitting.

‘Hi,’ he says.

‘Hi,’ I reply. Because what else is there to say? I am in the seventh circle of hell right now. I’m reserving circles eight and nine, respectively, for when Leo invites me to his wedding, then the christening of his first child.

Cassie, ever the grown-up, steps in. ‘What a lovely surprise!’ she exclaims.

I fire eye-daggers at her.Lovely?

‘I’ll say,’ he replies with a smile.A smile?He looks down at Poppy. ‘I can just sit by the window, if you like?’

He gestures to the seat next to Poppy, the one directly across from me.

Poppy looks over, as if asking for my permission.

Paralysed by the absurdity of this situation, I can do little more than shrug my agreement. She stands and moves out of the way, and Leo settles into the seat by the window.

He smiles at me and I gulp. His outfit for today is a throwback to his Hank Moody fromCalifornicationphase – well-worn, well-fittingjeans and a black T-shirt. Leo spent most of uni wearing this outfit.

The first time I stayed over at his, I discovered a stack of carefully folded, identical black T-shirts and next to it, three pairs of the same jeans, also carefully folded. Hanging in the wardrobe were several black dress shirts, again identical. During the colder months, he switched from T-shirts to dress shirts and added a leather jacket. Before visiting his flat, I’d thought he just did his washing every other day.

I’d also teased him about doing a ‘Steve Jobs’ and we’d had our first dust-up about the difference between Jobs’ turtlenecks and baggy jeans (‘dorky’, apparently) and Hank Moody’s cool, easy California style. That’s when Leo introduced me to the show. He even had boxsets of the early seasons that he’d brought over from America. I didn’t mind it and it did spark a long-held desire to visit Los Angeles.

Today, the look is working for him even more so than when we were younger. And I hate to admit it, but that’s mostly due to the contrast of the black T-shirt and his platinum hair, which has grown on me. There’s something ‘Henry Cavill as the Witcher’ about it – only Cavill is too beefy for me and Leo is… well, perfect.

The train starts to leave the station, and I’m left wondering what I’m supposed to do for the next two-plus hours. Stare pointedly out the window? Keep reading my romcom? Make polite conversation with the man I’d like to throttle and ravish in equal measure?

‘Um, Cassie, how about we check out the café car? I’m famished,’ says Poppy.

Wait, Cassie wouldn’t abandon me, leaving me alone with Leo, would she?

‘Er, there’s table service,’ I tell them.

‘Right, but that won’t be for ages,’ Poppy replies, standing and collecting her handbag from the parcel shelf.

‘And I could murder a sandwich,’ says Cassie, popping out of her seat.

---