Page 52 of Shout Out To My Ex

‘The more I think about it, the less likely it seems. Cross that bridge if we come to it?’

‘Sounds good.’

‘Thanks, Nas. It helps to have a sounding board.’

‘Well, it’s my case too,’ she says, somewhat snarky.

‘I haven’t forgotten,’ I reply, somewhat snarky back.

We end the call and I contemplate calling my husband for some more long-distance relations, but as appealing as that is, I’m absolutely wiped. Besides, I’ll be home tomorrow – the real thing will be well worth the wait.

16

ELLE

‘I just want to get home, fall into bed, and sleep for three days,’ I say, more to myself than to Cassie. I’ve changed into my pyjamas, washed off my makeup, and started packing, even though I’ll have ample time in the morning.

‘That can be arranged,’ Cassie says from her bed, where she’s also in her pyjamas and is idly scrolling on her phone. ‘You’ve certainly earned it,’ she adds.

I stop folding my clothes and watch her for signs that she’s cross with me. ‘It’s for the best,’ I say, though I sound about as convincing as a ‘real’ sighting of Nessie.

‘What is?’ she asks without looking up.

‘Turning down a collaboration with Leo.’ I continue packing. ‘It’s for the best, right?’

‘Are you asking me or telling me?’ Her tone is a like a siren’s song and I can’t resist lifting my gaze to meet hers. Right, so sheiscross with me – at least a little bit. I recommence packing, taking extra care to fold and place each item into my case just so.

‘Our design aesthetics are poles apart, for one thing,’ I say. ‘Plus, his fashion house is across the Atlantic – so that would be problematic. And there’s his whole vegan leather slant – I mean,brilliant initiative, great for the environment – but where would we source cacti in the UK? And do we even want to branch out into accessories?’ I’m aware that I’m rabbiting on but it’s only when I say, ‘And, really, he’s so… so…’ that Cass interjects.

‘Elle, just stop.’

I drop a pair of trousers, unfolded, into my case, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. ‘I am so stupid, Cassie. I thought I could be professional and talk to him – designer to designer – but… I can’t believe he’sengaged.’ I barely get the words out before my throat closes – it’s as if I’ve tried to swallow a golf ball.

Cassie leaps off the bed and is over to me in a heartbeat, wrapping me up in one of her sisterly hugs.

‘It’s all right, Bean. It’s all right,’ she says. And I am so close to succumbing to a bout of tears – it would be easy to let Cass play big sis and wallow – but a little voice inside tells me that crying will just burden her further. And she’s already shouldering so much.

I ease back and stand tall, swiping under my eyes. ‘Soz.’

‘You don’t need to apologise,’ she says, watching me closely. ‘This past month has been a lot. You’ve just pulled off the biggest show of your career, with very little notice, you’ve met up with your ex for the first time in a decade, and we’re away from home?—’

‘Away from home inParis, Cass,’ I say, stepping away. ‘And it’s not even gone nine and we’re in our hotel room in ourpyjamas. I mean, what the actual eff?’

She blinks at me, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. ‘Hold on. What happened to being completely shattered?’

‘Who cares? It’sParis. I can sleep on the train tomorrow. I’m only thirty-two for crying out loud. If Iris Apfel were in Paris, she’d be dolling herself up and heading out somewhere fabulous – and she’s over a hundred!’

‘Iris Apfelisin Paris. It is Fashion Week.’

‘Oh, good point.’

‘So, what did you have in mind? We did just leave the biggest party of the season.’

‘And do we really want to get all dressed up again?’

‘And there’s that,’ she says, stifling a yawn.

I pause for a moment, regarding the tiny, cramped wardrobe, as well as the clothes I’ve already packed. No, I don’t fancy getting dressed up again. But I want to dosomething.

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