Page 40 of Shout Out To My Ex

‘All right.’ She takes the phone from Poppy, glances at it, and says, ‘Bloody hell, that was quick.’

‘Quick? How do you mean?’ I ask, confused.

She lifts her gaze to meet mine. ‘It’s from today. From your show.’

‘What?’ I snatch the phone from her and there he is, in profile, at the edge of the runway, holding up those stupid peonies. My hand is outreached and in the split second it took to take the photo, it looks like I’m smiling right at him. ‘Well, fuck.’

‘So, you see?’ Poppy asks, taking her phone back. ‘It really does seem like there’s a story and with us going to his show tomo?—’

‘I’m not going,’ I say, interrupting her. ‘I’ve already told Cassie. I don’t want to see him. It ended badly between us and—’ My voice catches, betraying me. I was aiming for ‘casual dismissal’ but ever since I saw him again in that bloody restaurant, long-buried emotions have been popping up like jack-in-the-boxes – a terrifying toy for a child, by the way, and an apt analogy for what I’ve experienced over the past fortnight.

Damn him for showing up again like that! And why now?

‘I’m really sorry, Elle, but…’ Poppy exchanges an unreadable look with Cassie. ‘I’m afraid my editor is insisting that we pursue this angle of the story.’

‘Sorry? I don’t understand.’

‘What she’s saying is that if you don’t go to Leo’s show, there is no article,’ says Cassie.

‘I hate this, I really do,’ says Poppy, ‘but Cassie’s right.’

‘I see.’ A pinprick to a balloon would have less impact than this revelation has on me. I sink onto the bed, my shoulders slumped.

‘It’s your decision, of course,’ says Poppy, ‘and I completely understand if you’d like to call it good.’

All that bluster before about Bliss Designs trending on socials – I mean, it is trending and that’s great – but trending for a day is hardly the level of exposure I could secure for us if I agree to Poppy’s request. She’s working on a deep dive into us as a fashion label – from our (extremely humble) beginnings right up until today. This could lead to opportunities I cannot even imagine.

I stand and go to the window, looking through the gauzy curtains at the street below. Parisians and tourists mingle on the footpaths, scooters zip in and out of traffic, and there are a surprising number of Citroëns on the road – though I suppose theyareFrench.

What’s that expression? You’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than those you did. Or something like that. I turn my back on the view.

‘All right. I’ll tell you about me and Leo – but just the gist, okay?’

‘Okay,’ says Poppy.

‘And his show tomorrow?’ asks Cassie, her expression hopeful. I nod and she grins at me, her dimples prominent. She’s clearly still on the whole collaboration tangent, but I have time to dissuade her from that. At least, I hope I do.

Ten minutes later, after I’ve given Poppy a potted history of my relationship with Leo, she stops recording and puts her phone away.

‘Excellent,’ she says, ‘that should be all I need for now. I’ll leave you two to – well, whatever it is you do after one of the biggest moments of your career – and I’ll meet you in the lobby tomorrow morning.’

She grins at us and I do my best to return the smile.

After she leaves, I fix my eyes on Cassie. ‘Happy now?’ I ask her.

‘I just want what’s best for?—’

I cut her off. ‘I know. So,’ I say, changing tack, ‘would it be completely ridiculous to take a long bath, then a nap?’

‘You mean because we’re in Paris and you can bathe and sleep when we get home?’

‘Precisely.’

‘Not at all. I’ll take my book downstairs to the restaurant and give you some time by yourself.’ She gathers her belongings and kisses my cheek before she goes. ‘See you later, Bean,’ she says, pulling the door closed behind her.

I thought I was nervous yesterday, moments beforemyshow, but this!

‘You all right, Bean?’ Cassie asks. ‘You look like you’re about to be sick.’

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