Page 28 of Shout Out To My Ex

‘No. But apparently, no onewearstheir lanyards. You just flash it at the door and put it back in your handbag.’

‘And which handbag would this be, the Chanel or the Louis Vuitton?’

I ignore the dig, as we both know I have neither. I may be married to an uber-wealthy man, but I didn’t become a society wife overnight. In fact, I willneverbecome one of those, much to my mother-in-law’s chagrin. ‘Look, I only need the press credentials for access to the shows.’

‘And the parties. Please tell me there are parties.’

‘Well, yes, apparently, but I’m not sure I’ll be going to those.’

‘You absolutelyare. And I want constant updates. And pics. Actually, you should just live stream the entire week.’

‘I’m not doing that.’

‘Had to try,’ she says with a shrug. ‘So…’ She trails off and twirls her wine glass by the stem. ‘You know I love you and I think you’re very pretty?—’

‘She’s beautiful,’ says my husband over the sound of the range hood.

‘All right, yes, you’re beautiful…’

‘But?’

She locks eyes with mine. ‘You know what I’m going to ask.’

‘Yes, I’m getting a makeover.’

‘You don’t need one,’ Tristan interjects.

‘Thank you, darling, but I’m with Shaz on this one,’ I say over my shoulder. ‘According to the client’s sister – the one who hired us,’ I say to Shaz, ‘it won’t be drastic. Just a little zhuzh.’

‘Can I come?’ asks Shaz.

‘To Paris?’

‘No, to your…’ She flaps her hand in front of my face.

‘If you must.’

‘Oh, I must. I’m living vicariously through you, you know.’

‘Why? Your life is amazing right now.’

Just after Tristan and I got married, Shaz left her (shitty, soul-sucking, and surprisingly underpaid) job as a psychologist for a prestigious Harley Street practice. It was one of the best decisions of her life, as she’s now part of a not-for-profit women’s health group in south-west London and loves both her patients and her colleagues. She’s also been dating her girlfriend, Lauren, for the past six months.

Oh, wait. I catch the slight downturn of her mouth and she avoids eye contact, her fingers tapping lightly on the countertop.

Dreading the answer, I ask, ‘So, which is it? The job or the relationship?’

‘What? Oh… uh, neither.’

‘Sharon, what’s going on?’

Her shoulders visibly drop. ‘It’s not the job. Job’s still good.’

‘So, Lauren then?’ I adore Lauren and she and Shaz are so good together.Pleaselet this not be the end of the line for them.

‘She wants me to move in.’

‘Oh my god, that’s amazing.’ Only Shaz’s face says the opposite. ‘Why isn’t that amazing? You said that Alfie’s beenhinting at moving in with his boyfriend. Why don’t you two pack up the share flat and?—’

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