Page 132 of Shout Out To My Ex

She ends the call, leaving me feeling slightly guilty. I hate having to sit through a meeting when I need to wee.

‘Right, so how are we handling this?’ Jacinda asks, right as I’m about to press the buzzer to Shaz and Alfie’s flat.

‘What are you talking about? This was your idea!’

‘Yes, but she’syourbest friend.’ She blinks at me with those enormous brown eyes.

‘Look, I don’t mean to criticise or anything – and thank you for organising all the packing accoutrement and the van – but,again, this was your idea. I thought you’d have a speech planned or something.’

‘What’s the hold up?’ asks Ravi, peeking out from behind Tristan, who’s laden with a stack of folded packing boxes.

‘Your wife has only now mentioned that we need to strategise.’

‘Wait a minute, I was on logistics –andwe had to move this up by three days at late notice.’

‘Yes, but—’ My phone rings –Shaz’sringtone. ‘Oh, shit, that’s Shaz,’ I say, fishing it out of my back pocket. ‘What do I say?’ I ask the others.

‘How about “hello”?’ quips Ravi dryly.

‘Hey, Shaz,’ I say, hoping I’ve achieved a breezy tone. ‘What’s up, pussy cat?’ Okay, that wasn’t breezy – that was weird and oddly referenced 1960s pop culture.

‘Poppy, why the fuck are you and Tristan and Ravi and Jacinda standing outside my flat?’

‘Oh, uh…’ I look up and Shaz is at the window, staring down at us with a less-than-impressed look on her face. ‘Hi.’ I wave, and so do Jacinda and Ravi – him with a tape dispenser in his hand. Unsurprisingly, Shaz does not wave back.

‘And what is Tristan carrying?’

‘Will you just let us up?’

There’s a frustrated sigh, then the click of the building’s front door unlocking. I stuff my phone in my pocket and lead the way up to Shaz’s flat. She’s waiting with the door open and arms crossed, the look on her face having transformed from annoyed to totally pissed off in the short time it took us to walk up the stairs.

‘Come on in, you lot,’ she says, staring each of us down as we pass by. Then she closes the door and now we’re shut inside with a very angry woman.

39

POPPY

Shaz is only slightly less ticked off after we explain our thinking.

‘Well, you know what they say: the road to hell is paved with good intentions,’ she says as she prowls around the lounge room.

‘You don’t believe in hell,’ I say from my spot on the sofa. As soon as she let us in, she told us to sit. We sat. All four of us bunched up together on the one sofa.

‘I do now that I’m living it. Did you really think this was a good idea?’ she asks, glaring at us in turn.

Tristan raises his hand. ‘I was somewhat dubious.’

‘Then you were somewhat onto something. I’m not making a decisionthisimportant because my friends brought around a stack of packing boxes.’

‘And rented a van,’ Ravi adds unhelpfully.

Shaz crosses to the window and peers out.

‘Oh my fucking god.’ She turns back to us. ‘If I didn’t love you lot, I’d have your guts for garters. You especially,’ she adds, thrusting a finger at me.

‘Okay, we get it,’ I say, standing to brave her wrath on my own. ‘We overstepped, we were presumptuous, we were out of line. We’re terrible friends.’

‘Well, that’s going a bit far,’ she concedes. ‘You’re not terrible friends. Yes to the first bit, though.’

---