Page 113 of Shout Out To My Ex

‘As I said before, I was terrified you would turn me away.’

‘Why would I do that?’ I ask.

‘I don’t know – because you’d moved on or were angry with me or something.’

‘I wasn’tangrywith you, I?—’

‘Really? Are you sure about that? Because you’ve given me a tongue lashing more than once since that night at the restaurant – actually,includingthat night at the restaurant,’ he teases. Only I’m not in the mood for being teased – not even a little bit. Besides, he’s right.

‘I thought you didn’t care about me.’

‘Ellie, Ididcare. Idocare. I always have. You don’t know that you were on my mind the whole time we were apart?’

‘Well, no. How would I know that? You ghosted me.’

‘I know but that wasn’t because I stopped loving you. I was just drowning under my obligations to my family and I thought the best way not to break your heart any more than I had – ormyheart, ’cause I had a really shitty time of it being apart from you – was to cut all ties. I did it for your sanity and mine, becauseI knew I couldn’t come back here, and what was the point in dragging it out?’

‘That’s idiotic. We could have made it work.’

‘How?’ he says with a wry laugh. ‘Texas is five thousand miles away and I was running a multi-million-dollar cattle ranch while you were launching a design career. And even if the logistics hadn’t been a factor, I certainly was. I wasn’t the same person when I was back home. I was so resentful, furious that, even from the grave, my old man was holding Brandy’s happiness – and my mom’s security – over my head. Let’s just say I wasn’t the guy you fell in love with. I would have been too ashamed to see you. You would have hated what I became.’

‘I don’t know that I would havehatedyou,’ I mumble.

‘Really? You never once cursed my name in ten years?’ he teases, and this time I’m a little more receptive than before.

‘Once – in a moment of weakness,’ I reply with a smirk. ‘But seriously, Leo, you didn’t even let me be part of the decision. You just broke the news, then the next day you were gone and I never heard from you again.’

‘I know, sweetheart. And in retrospect, you’re right, it was idiotic. But I was a dumb kid, blinded by my hatred for my old man.’

‘And now?’

‘I’m a not-so-dumb man who’s grateful for a second chance. Or at least hopeful of a second chance,’ he adds, capturing my hand in his.

‘And what about the rest of it?’ I say, my voice strained with apprehension.

‘The rest— Oh, right. Yeah, there’s a lotta shit to deal with.’

In anticipation of what I’m about to say, a lump lodges in my throat. But I need to get these words out – it’s the mature, professional thing to do. ‘Leo, maybe we need to… I don’t know…Wait.’

‘On the collaboration? Maybe, but?—’

‘No, I mean wait on us… being together.’

‘No,’ he says emphatically. ‘I’m not doing that. I spent ten years without you because I was a coward and a fool and I’m not wasting any more time.’

‘That’s… that’s a lovely sentiment but it’s not realistic. Ser has a plan for you, for your career, and like you said, you only have to pretend to be engaged for another month or two.’

He fixes me with a penetrating gaze. ‘Ellie, no. We’re not doing that. We’ll figure something out, but I am not going to keep pretending I’m engaged to Franzia when I want to be with you.’

‘Well, I suppose there’s one possibility. Poppy said that she and her team at the agency were working on a plan to help us.’

‘See? There’s still hope.’

‘Easy for you to say – you’re not public enemy number one.’

He tightens his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. ‘If you’re number one, then I must be number t?—’

He’s interrupted by a loud thumping sound coming from downstairs. We break apart and look at each other. He’s obviously as baffled as I am.

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