Page 103 of Shout Out To My Ex

ELLE

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

Cassie cringes at her desk, shrinking before my eyes, but when I look to Poppy, she steadily meets my gaze. She must break this sort of news all the time.

I cannot think of one thing to say. And I have no idea how to feel. Just a few minutes ago, I was riding the high of tricking the paps and now…

Snapshots of the past few weeks begin to flicker through my mind at an alarming rate.

Leo at the restaurant looking like a tosser… Him bringing my favourite flowers to my show… Acknowledging me at the end of his show… ‘Coincidentally’ sharing a berth with him on the Eurostar… The photoshoot! Oh my god – wrapped up in Leo’s arms like that, wanting him…

Fuck.

Every moment Leo and I have shared in the past month has been part of a big, ugly, fucked-up lie. And that’s not even taking into accountLeo’slie – him pretending he didn’t know who he was meeting that night.

‘Elle, say something,’ Cassie pleads.

‘What exactly? What can I possibly say?’ The brain fog starts to lift, and one question pops into my head. ‘Actually, I do know. How could you lie to me like that?’

‘It wasn’t a lie?—’

I glare at her. ‘Well, you’re right about that. It wasn’talie; it was a wholepackof them.’

‘I was trying to help…’ she adds feebly. ‘I just wanted you to be happy.’

‘Elle,’ Poppy interjects, her voice soft and calm.

When I turn on her, there it is, that steady gaze. Her tone, that look… It’s infuriating! I’m not a spooked horse that needs soothing. She’s not the bloody Elle whisperer.

I stare at her, waiting for this magical explanation that will make everything okay, including that my sister – the one person on the entire planet who I trust implicitly – has deceived me.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘We both are. And as misguided as it may seem right now, your sister engaged my agency to help bring you and Leo back together. She was thinking solely about your happiness.’

‘And then you manipulated me.’

‘I’m not going to play semantics. It’s fair for you to characterise what I did as manipulation. But when it comes to Cassie, please remember that her motives were pure.’

I cast a sidelong look at Cassie. She’s miserable – her face drawn, her shoulders slumped… It pains me terribly to see her like this. It will be difficult to stay cross with her – she’s mysister.

Poppy on the other hand…

‘Which parts did you orchestrate?’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘Don’t be coy. Which parts were you personally responsible for? Is there even going to be a feature inNouveauor was thatpart of the lie? If it was, then bravo, what amasterfulploy. You even got a world-famous photographer involved.’

‘Yes, there will be a feature – well, as far as I know. This latest development might impact?—’

‘Latest development? You mean how I’m being portrayed as the harlot of the fashion world who’s hellbent on breaking up a celebrity couple? That?’

‘Yes.’

‘Brilliant. Career over before it properly got started.’

Ignoring Cassie’s protestations that my careerisn’tover, I drop onto the sofa and stare at the hardwood floor, picking out the knots that look like things: there’s the apple and there’s the sheep… I’m searching for my favourite, the one that looks like a birthday cake, when a horrible realisation floods my veins.

I sit back and grab a throw pillow, dragging it onto my lap and hugging it tightly. I don’t want to ask this, but I need to know.

---