Page 29 of Knot that Simple

Lorcan tookoff on his truck, and I balled my hands into fists, feeling the damp leggings over my legs, triggering a flashback of what just happened in that boat.

Instead of shame, which was what usually came after my sexual encounters, all I could find was more hot lava threatening to pour over the brim.

“Breathe through your nose,” Lorcan said.

I wasn’t paying attention. My mind was flying high. I replayed every word, every look, every moment, and I was soon too deep into a daydream to reply to him.

“Gabriela,” he tried again, this time his hand landing on my bouncing leg and catching my attention.

Oh God. He had huge hands, masculine and powerful, and I found myself rubbing my tights together, feeling soaked and powerless.

“Breathe.”

I tried, but I was panting instead, my lips dry, wanting to beg him to stop the car and take me right there. I wanted him to stretch me, fill me up. I wanted him to look right into my soul with those impossible blue eyes and take me as his.

“Mo chroí.”The term I didn't understand made me look at him. “Breathe slowly.”

I followed his melodic accent, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. I felt a little better, the mind fog clearing just for a moment.

“It’s just the heat,” he reminded me.

Yes, the heat. It was too powerful, too much. How could people do this? I was barely a person right now. After years of being smart and ignoring my basic instincts, here I was, nothing but themostbasic instincts.

“You need to accept it. You can’t fight it,” Lorcan said, once again reading my mind.

“I want to distract myself.” I looked at the window, trying not to look at his handsome profile.

“The heat is biological, if you try to fight it, your body is just going to try to push harder. Breathe in and sit with it. Know you’ll feel better soon.”

“As soon as I have sex with you three?”

He didn’t reply right away, so I turned back to him. His jaw ticked, the only sign he heard me.

“Lorcan?”

He nodded once. “Yes.”

I couldn’t stop but feel a little rejected. I knew there was more to Lorcan than simply not being that into me. While he avoided physical contact, he paid too much attention to me to mean nothing. The man could read me like a book, so I had to assume he liked me, even if just a little.

I knew I shouldn’t feel that way. I was my mother’s daughter, after all. I knew from a young age people’s issues rarely have anything to do with us. Everyone was battling their own demons, and sometimes, we were in the splash zone.

It stung when I realized my mom was absent not because she disliked me, but because she couldn’t see beyond her addiction.We all want to be special for the people in our lives, and there were dark times when I wished she at least hated me so she felt something toward me.

I shook myself off. This was why I never pursued a relationship. I was too unhealed to deal with another human being. I was too busy stopping generational trauma from reaching Alice. Every step in that direction brought me back to a place I promised to forget.

We remained in silence until we reached the house. I tried to breathe through the heat, but it was becoming hard to think once again.

“Follow me,” he said.

He led me through the house, and I said nothing until we reached a small spiral staircase. Once we hit the third floor, my jaw dropped.

“Oh God.”

The whole floor was just one massive bedroom, a bed so big, I bet it was specially made. Piles of pillows, cushions, and fluffy blankets on top finalized the look of the most perfect bed I’d ever seen.

Shelves with books and records adorned the walls, along with beautiful hanging lights decorated with tiny shells that made my heart skip a beat. It was delicate, so perfect.

My feet stepped toward the window—I was being called by the floor to ceiling glass showing off a breathtaking view of the sea.

---