Page 91 of Frozen Flames

“What?”

“Before we broke up, you said you didn’t understand how I could think you wouldn’t notice these changes in me, but you just admitted thatClairenoticed. She noticed—not you. There lies the problem, Harv.”

Screw you.

This is what you choose to talk about after you fucked your boss!

“What’s your point?” I’m not about to admit to my white lie. “Don’t talk like that.Stoplooking at me like that!”

“Like what?” She sits up straight, leaning against the headboard.

“Like you’re sorry. Who would’ve known it would be so hard for you to remain loyal to me? The going gets tough and you land yourself onanother dick.”

She shakes her head. “I’ve been there for you through everything,” she tells me, as if that rationalizes her cheating ways. The fact that she’s trying to justify it should be my cue to leave her right here, right now.

As a matter a fact, what am I doing still fighting with her?

“There’s no part of me I didn’t give you—you just threw it all away. You rejected me until eventually I caught on and gave you space.”

She knows all my weak spots.

Deep, deep down, somewhere where my ego doesn’t reach, I know she’s right. I know I messed up with my attitude and by not fucking her.

I just couldn’t. I’ve had too many close calls.

It’s soeasyfor her to judge instead of trying to put herself in my shoes and imagining how this would affect her physically, mentally, andsexuallyif the roles were reversed.

Maybe now would be a good time to let her know, but I don’t know how to put it all into words. God knows I’ve tried—and failed—these past few years.

“You don’t know what it’s like.” I look away, biting my lip. “To be in this fucking chair…to struggle to walk… You don’t know what it’s like! Instead of us being equals, you have to look down at me all the time. I can’tbethe man I used to be. I can’tdothe things I used to do with you. I can’t ride with you, and I sure as hell can’t be the man who walks up to you and fucks you against the wall.” I release a shaky breath, pushing my hair back.

My lungs feel like they will fucking collapse.

“Harvey,” she whispers, and the softness of her voice does something to me. It moves mountains inside of me, knowing I once loved this girl with all my heart. “The body doesn’t make the man…his spirit does. And in case you haven’t noticed, you have a really nice body.” She clears her throat, and her compliment goes straight to my soul.

What I would’ve given to hear those words from her before.

“You know I’ll never be able to understand, but you could’ve let me in,” she says simply.

“I did—”

“No.” She shakes her head. “No. You let Claire in, not me. Seriously, Harvey, why her?”

I want to blame her.

Say it’s her fault—because it is.

Say it’s not true—because I didn’t let Claire in, at least I don’t think I let her in more than Gemma.

Maybe I’m wrong.

But she’s dead wrong.

Finally, the truth spills out of me. “Because you’re on my case about everything. For fuck’s sake, Gemma, she’s my nurse, yet you treat me more like a patient than she does!” I breathe deeply, figuring I might as well go in for the kill. “And Claire is just light…in this darkness.”

There’s no holding back now.

She clears her throat. “You never gave me a chance to make it better. You never even gaveyourselfa chance to be better, to go outside and smell the fresh air. You don’t even leave your damn room, Harv. But listen—it doesn’t have to be all bad.”

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