Page 68 of Frozen Flames

“It didn’t change anything, now did it? Didn’t make you put in more effort and try to have an actual relationship with me…” She grabs her bag, and I wheel to the front door as I follow her,watching her put on her boots, replaying her words in my mind. “And what about Claire?”

“I didn’t sleep with her!”

Guilt hits me right in the chest when she laughs, and I remember Claire straddling me this weekend.

Fuck. I’m doing the same thing. I’m no better!

“You love her! I know you do, Harv. At least admit that.”

I’m completely dumbfounded and shocked by her statement. I like Claire, but do I love her? I don’t fucking know…

I see Gemma’s piercing green eyes full of anger when I look back at her and realize I didn’t deny it.

“Gemma!”

She slams the door in my face.

Gemma, please don’t leave me.

I lay my forehead against the cold door, shaking my head. Anything to make sure I don’t destroy this house—because every fiber of my being is begging me to.

My mind is exploding with thoughts of Gemma cheating on me, laughing and flirting with her boss, sucking him off. And maybe even worse—a future without her here in this home.

It won’t be a home without her anymore.

I can’t believe she left me.

I always knew she would.

It was just a matter of time.

Harvey

I text Claire to tell her to take the next few days off. I can’t train nor think about what’s happening with her.

The days all seem to be blending together.

I barely eat. I barely feel human.

My breathing is shallow, the pain in my chest is constant, and I’ve had a massive headache since my fight with Gemma.

My parents call me—I decline the call.

Henrik calls me many times on Tuesday night—I don’t answer.

The last thing I need is for anyone to tell me how much of an idiot I’ve been. Maybe I’m in the wrong, perhaps I should’ve done more to get out of my depressive state before losing my relationship to it.

Because that is what it’s about. She turned to another man because I didn’t have the energy and the right mindset to take care of myself nor my relationship.

She’s also treated me like glass since the accident, like a child she needed to tend to, instead of the man she fell in love with. And she’s shut me down emotionally over the years. But I’ve come to realize that’s simply her personality.

On Wednesday morning, Claire shows up. I let her in, knowing I’ll have to return to PT at some point. I tell her about my appointment with McKleen and the good news. It’s not a bad way to keep the conversation about work.

“That’s amazing, Harvey.” She types on her iPad, though I’m sure she already knew. When she notices my silence, she asks, “Hey…are you okay? Is this about Gemma?”

I stare outside, seeing our neighbor get out of her SUV with her kids, looking joyful, and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever reach that level of happiness again.

“She left me.”

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