Page 64 of Frozen Flames

I mindlessly answer the doctor’s questions until I see Gemma walk into the room, and then finally everyone leaves to give us privacy.

I spot the bruise on her forehead, and it reminds me how close this was. How close I was to losing her.

This is all my fault—I destroyed our lives at twenty-one-years-old.

When she reaches the bed, I take her hand, desperate for her touch, to ensure that she’s truly alive and here.

That’s what I’m grateful for.

A million thoughts swarm my mind as I take in this moment, not knowing what to say. I can’t think of a single word to utter.

But perhaps I should start withsorry…

Because if it wasn’t for my stupidity, we wouldn’t be here.

I wonder what’s going through her head as well. She looks tired and a little broken, but still as beautiful as ever with her amber hair and green eyes.

What’s going on in that head of yours?

I miss her already. The void between us in this moment is undeniable.

I wonder if she’s worried about us too, if she’s thinking of leaving me. What if she thinks this makes me ugly? What is she doesn’t think I’m manly enough for her anymore?

I imagine if she left me and I never got to be surrounded by Gemma’s quiet little aura again.

All because I’m a fucking idiot.

All because of a coward who committed a hit-and-run.

“Come here,” I finally tell her. She sits on the bed carefully, and I wrap my arms around her.

“I’m here, Harvey. I’ll alwaysbehere.”

Sweet, naive girl. You have no idea what you’re talking about.

I won’t let you…I won’t let you ruin your life for me.

I wouldn’t love you if I did.

I shush her with a kiss on the cheek, then I give her a peck on the lips. “You’re alive. That’s all that matters. Things could’ve been much worse for you, much worse.” I say the words softly, speaking the most I have in a while.

We stay silent.

I try not to move. It’s not like my body will allow me to. It feels as if one move will break a rib, and my lower back feels like it’s on fire. And don’t get me started on the pain searing through my left shoulder.

My breath stalls, and life feels heavy.

But as long as she’s alive, I would’ve gone through anything for her.

She starts stroking my arm with her fingers, and finally I fall asleep.

Harvey

Today’s Sunday, and I’m chilling with Henrik, yet I can’t shake off the mess that I’ve created in the span of two days.

Gemma hasn’t come home since.

She didn’t even bring back our van for me to go to my PT appointment yesterday. Hen had to come and get me, and his car isn’t as practical for me.

---