Page 4 of Frozen Flames

I can’t go through this again. Nor put her through this.

“Harv, please. I miss you.Please, let me make you feel good.”

What does she want from me?

I give her all that I possibly can. Every ounce of energy that I have, which in all fairness isn’t much. There’s nothing more. I don’t know where I’m supposed to keep digging.

Energy feels like a treasure I’ll never find again.

I’m lifeless, and have been for years.

My routine is the only thing keeping me alive. And perhaps my younger brother, though we’re close in age, Henrik. I could never hurt him like that.

I glare at her with pain in my stare.

Her hands slip under my white shirt, her fingers roaming over my pale chest, replacing the tanned chest I use to have.

The desperation is there, written all over her face. Her silent pleas are begging me to touch her.

So I do. I trace her collarbone, one of my favorite parts of Gemma’s body. Then I trace the top of her breast, her lips parting in response. My forefinger reaches for her bra strap, and I pull it down, knowing that the end is near.

With each touch, every movement, my insecurities amplify.

Peeing myself again. The thought of not being able to get hard, or come, or do so on time.

The million different sensations and the complexities that come with my new lifestyle.

They’re turning me off from all of it.

“Gemma…”

She unclasps her bra, letting it fall to the carpet. “You don’t want to touch them?”

I do. Yet I don’t.

My hand settles on her waist as I hope to appease her. “Never said that.”

“Then don’t stop. We can go slow. Whatever you want.”

She’s not hearing me.

“Gemma…”

Her hands grasp my hair, and she runs her fingers through it before her hands move down to my jeans. She unbuttons them, dragging down the zipper.

I can see it in her expression, in her movements, and from the quiver in her hands. She knows that this won’t lead anywhere. She knows I still can’t do it. She just can’t withstand the rejection.

I never meant to hurt you like this.

I want to tell her that we’re not the same sexual, flirty couple that we used to be.

I can’t easily get my dick hard on my own command. What makes her think it’d be simpler with her there?

“I can’t…”

She takes my hand and puts it on her pierced nipple. I swallow when she asks me, “Don’t you want me, Harvey?”

I shake my head. “I can’t do this.”

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