Page 161 of Frozen Flames

“It all worked out, didn’t it?”

She nods. “It really did. Tell Claire I said congratulations.” She turns to leave.

“Gemma?” She stops, and when she spins around, I tell her, “Thank you. Just thank you.”

She walks over to me one more time, and we hug quickly. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispers, and walks away, heading straight to her Tesla.

“How did it feel seeing Gemma again?” asks Dr. Lee during our therapy session that same day.

“Good and awkward.”

“Why did you thank her?”

“I realized over the years, thanks to you”—I grin—“that despite the pain we put each other through, she was there for me after the accident. She took care of me for as long as she could. I was thanking her for that.”

“I see,” Dr. Lee says, which I’ve gathered over the years means,Please continue your monologue. I wish to know more.

Delve deeper.

“Also, in a weird way, if I hadn’t made all those mistakes with her, I wouldn’t have been able to make it right for myself and end up with Claire.”

“Looking back on a painful moment in our life and being able to view it from a different lens is a sign of growth. And, Harvey, what isn’t meant for you will never be for you.”

I nod, agreeing with him.

“Yet I still have my moments. Where I feel weaker than other men.” I swallow, holding back a little. He already knows about Finn.

“Meaning?” he presses.

“Despite the fact that I can walk, I’ll never be able to walk as I would’ve pre-accident. I’ll never be as fast or as stable or able torun. I’m worried about Finn—of robbing him of life experiences. I want to be able to move around with him when he’s older andbe therefor him.” I clear my throat. “I worry about my wife and the toll that my disability takes on her, even more so now with a baby. There are still ‘dad things’ I can’t do, like fixing things around the house or some shit that I wish so badly I could do. It kills me at times.”

“And yet for most of those things, I’m sure you can use someone else’s services,” Dr. Lee tells me. “Instead, you get to focus on the extra time spent with your family. Harvey, your feelings are perfectly valid and understandable… When you go home later, please look into your wife’s and your newborn son’s eyes and take it all in—how they’re looking at you.”

I chuckle. “Oh, I’ve noticed. Claire seems to love me even more in my father role, and Finn, well, he’s just cute.” Dr. Lee smiles. “I’ll do your homework though—check with a fresh pair of eyes.”

“Good,” he answers earnestly. “How have you been feeling physically?”

“Honestly, I’m thrilled to be using crutches publicly now for longer distances and periods of time, but it’s still challenging,” I tell him. “I ended up with shoulder pain from the constant pressure.” I sigh. “And I keep it all in because I don’t want to bother Claire with my pain. I know this is part of my journey, and I am grateful, but it’s not always easy…”

He listens to me intently. “You might benefit from sharing this with her. She might be more sympathetic than you think.”

“She’s already in tune to all my needs. I don’t want her to burn out because of me. Anyway, time’s up,” I say, checking the time on my phone.

“Harvey, I want to tell you something regarding your earlier thoughts…before our session ends. A lot of my patients have special circumstances in their lives or grew up with family members with special needs or mental illnesses, and guess what I’ve realized? They never loved them any less. To them, it wasnormal, as you often say.”

I bite my lip, my fingers shuffling on my dark jeans.

Then I shake my head, swallowing, suppressing the rest of my emotions. “Thank you, Dr. Lee.”

“No”—he shakes his head—“thank yourself and your self-growth.”

True, but as he’s taught me, sometimes we all need a little help. And he’s helped me tremendously.

“Look at this cute little shit!” Henrik takes Finn in his arms and hoists him into the air.

“Hen, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I advise, as we’re sitting around the dinner table.

“What’s the worst that can happen?” Claire says, grinning as she winks at me. These two have a love-hate relationship where they tease each other to death.

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