Page 136 of Frozen Flames

She shakes her head. “No. I’m applying for other contracts. There might be an opening at the rehab center, but I’m not sure my leaving this job so abruptly will help my chances.”

“Just tell them I was an asshole.” I give her a smile, hoping she returns it.

She does, and I feel on top of the world again.

“I know that it isn’t my place to say anymore”—she bites her lower lip—“but if you want to keep up with PT, it’s important to do it consistently. I really hope you’ll keep going.”

“Yeah, of course. Hen bought weights and other equipment for me on Amazon, so we’ll train together. I’ve been doing this for a few years now. I think I got the gist of things.”

She cleans everything up quickly—too quickly—before she tells me that she’ll email me my charts and her notes to continue the exercises.

The next thing I know, everything is packed into her car and she’s back for her purse and coat and a final goodbye.

“Gemma texted me. She asked if you were doing okay. I’ll tell her you’re doing better.”

“Okay, say that, but leave it at that. I don’t want her finding out that we’re not together and reaching out to me again.” At my words, she looks down with a downcast expression on her face. “Claire…I really am sorry for putting you through all of this.”

“It’s okay. All is forgiven.” She gives me a big smile as if she truly means it. Maybe she does and she’s that good of a person.

I’m sure she’s still hurt by what I did. I all but told her to go away with my ex around, and I texted my ex that I loved her.

Maybe this is Claire’s way of putting all of this—all of me—behind her so she can move on.

I don’t doubt that she will.

She’s a positive, mindful person.

She won’t sit around being depressed over me, and as much as it hurts to know this, it’s also one of the main reasons I fell in love with her.

I’d never want to diminish her joie de vivre.

I want her to keep flourishing and live the life she’s always wanted.

And hopefully, in time, Claire and I can find our way back to each other again.

Harvey

Things are harder without Claire around.

I might have the training schedule, but I underestimated her skill and encouragement. Without her, I wouldn’t be in this season of change. At least I don’t think I would. She made me see life and perhaps even myself in a different way.

As the weeks go by, I’m happy that things are settling back into a routine. Though my mom checks up on me often, she comes over less often. I like my space too much to hang out with people all the time.

Henrik’s a very rare exception.

“You okay?” he asks when he sees me struggling one morning after he returns from class. “Are you sure you should be standing without me?” he adds, setting his backpack down near the kitchen island.

“I’m training,” I reply, stating the obvious.

“Yeah, well, wait till I’m home next time.” Henrik has been a little more protective lately, as if I needed that. He acts like a mother hen sometimes, pun intended.

“Alright.” He claps his hands once. “Come to me. Pretend I’m Claire.” He motions to his chest as if he has tits.

“You’re an idiot,” I tell him, shaking my head in disapproval.

“Yeah, yeah, and the sky is green.”

I start to walk to him. It’s been a while, so my muscles resist. I can hear Claire’s voice in my head telling me not to push myself too hard and to start slow and build from there.

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